I would love to imagine a world in which people act cool and normal in the face of a Sydney Sweeney thirst trap, but that is unfortunately not the reality we live in! On Friday, the actress posted photos of herself and some friends enjoying a lake day on a boat — your average celebrity Instagram fare. But as someone who’s been known to poke at the public’s fixation with her body by leaning all the way in, she also included some tasteful ass photos, writing, “i think they call this a thirst trap.” Responses like those of a few respectful followers — take “MOTHER IS TRULY MOTHER OMG” or “Break the internet sis,” for example — would have sufficed. We are, however, talking about the woman whose boobs became the subject of puritanical panic earlier this year (deemed “double-D harbingers of the death of woke,” in fact, by some National Post columnist). So naturally, the commentary only got weirder from there.
Writing up my thoughts on the new Sydney Sweeney images pic.twitter.com/NM2gBpphkB
— Cosmonaut Marcus is Back (@CosmonautMarcus) August 17, 2024
For one, Tennessee Titans wide receiver DeAndre Hopkins appears to have commented “Trapped” on Sweeney’s post, though that comment has since been deleted. Another guy on Twitter declared that, because of Sweeney’s photos, “it’s a bad week to be a militant blue-haired lesbian,” before demanding, “We must win this war!” We may never know what war he is referring to, but at least Twitter’s queer community quickly congregated to remind this man that, actually, “lesbians are extremely stoked about these pictures.” Then, there’s the “‘Sydney Sweeney isn’t hot’ discourse” which has pivoted from obsessing over the 26-year-old’s boobs to insisting that she isn’t hot enough. Have any of you seen this woman? Perhaps it’s time to start investing in better contact lenses.
Found something more annoying than the “Sydney Sweeney is hot” discourse and it’s the “Sydney Sweeney isn’t hot” discourse pic.twitter.com/onzylb16FX
— evan loves worf (@esjesjesj) August 17, 2024
“Unpopular opinion, but in 1994 she would have been considered average,” one user wrote. “She is of course attractive, but the fact that she’s considered a 9 or a 10 is a testament to far [sic] Hollywood’s standards have fallen in 2024 rather than a testament to Sweeney herself.”
In March, we asked men and other moral purists on the internet to kindly leave Sydney Sweeney’s boobs alone. Today, we find ourselves once again asking everyone to stay calm in the wake of the Euphoria star’s thirst traps, ass and all. These are not difficult requests. Next time, may I suggest a subtle “gorgeous!” or a dead-panned “hot”? Now that’s finesse.
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