Thanksgiving is canceled. No, they didn’t find the holiday’s old tweets; Martha Stewart just doesn’t want to do it this year. The 82-year-old hostess went on The Kelly Clarkson Show on Thursday to make her grand pronouncement. “I gave up Thanksgiving. I canceled,” Stewart declared. Right on, sister!
Thanksgiving is the holiday that is most synonymous with Martha’s brand, so what could have compelled her to give up on the feast? Could it be that she’s finally come to the realization that even a 24-hour brine can’t make a turkey taste better than a roasted chicken? Maybe she saw Killers of the Flower Moon and isn’t down with the way we’ve mischaracterized our relationship to Indigenous Americans? Or maybe it’s just a classic case of beefing with your family? Place your bets now. Time for the big reveal …
“Nine guests canceled because somebody got sick,” Stewart told Clarkson. “So I called up my chef friend and I said, ‘We’re not doing Thanksgiving.’” Not only did nine people flake, but Stewart has already cooked enough turkeys this year to put anyone off from the stuff.
“I’ve also cooked like 14 turkeys already for my TV show, and I still have to do one more turkey on the Today show,” Stewart said. “So forget it.”
Instead, Stewart will be inciting fear in the hearts of her close friends by showing up for a single course. “I’m going to about five different homes to taste different courses,” the homemaking mogul said. Send your thoughts and prayers to the tony women of Bedford, New York. Their entire social standing rests on their green-bean casserole.
Related
