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Becca Kufrin never expected to be one of those moms. The kind of mom who goes all. out. for a 1-year-old’s birthday party. “Before I had my own baby, I was like, ‘It’s crazy that people just invest so much time and energy on the first birthday,'” Kufrin tells SheKnows. “Like, the baby’s not gonna remember it.”
But that was before. Before the Bachelor in Paradise welcomed sweet little Benson with husband Thomas Jacobs.
“Now I’m like, ‘I want everything,'” she says.
And why shouldn’t she? Even if 9-month-old Benson — affectionately known as Benny — won’t be able to appreciate the party once it rolls around, his loved ones should be given the chance to celebrate him. Kufrin recently revealed her party plans for her son while partnering Pampers Free & Gentle Wipes.
“I think we’re gonna do a ‘One Lucky Duck’ theme because we have duck mementos,” she says. “My dad used to carve ducks, so we have them all around our house. So I was like, that could be kind of cute. We could have little duck things running around.”
What an adorable idea! Benny surely will be one lucky duck if he gets to celebrate his birthday in a fun way that also honors his late grandfather.
And who knows — maybe Kufrin will get the chance to reuse the One Lucky Duck decorations in a few years! The TV personality told SheKnows that she and Jacobs have talked about expanding their family.
“We definitely want to have at least one more child,” she says, admitting that they’d both like for Benny to have a sibling. Even if they have different timelines.
“If Thomas had his way, he would have had a baby coming in a couple months already,” she continues, saying that she’d rather have 2 or 2.5 years between kids. “I’m sure in the next year, so we’ll start maybe trying for that.”
Ever since Benny was a newborn, Kufrin has been incredibly honest with her followers about her postpartum experience and her feelings of mom guilt. They were so overwhelming that she even struggled to let anyone besides herself or her husband hold her infant.
“I felt like … I was his mom. He feels protected with me. I need to just be with him,” she says.
Now that Benny’s 1st birthday is on the horizon, those feelings are still there — even if they don’t look the same. Kufrin says she doesn’t think the mom guilt ever goes away; it just changes into something different.
“He’s growing up and he’s becoming more curious and can be much more interactive,” she says. “So it’s like I’m always thinking, ‘Am I teaching him the best? Am I teaching him the right things at this age? And if I’m not, what should I be doing better?'”
Of motherhood, Kufrin says it’s “always kind of spinning.” “I feel like moms have 14 brains that are moving at the same time at any given given moment, but I’m now getting better,” she tells us.
It’s the little things that help. The 15-minute naps. The showers. The bits of makeup (sometimes “look good, feel good” is real!). And it’s the Pampers Free & Gentle Wipes that Kufrin says really are a one-and-done game changer for all the messes a baby boy (and future siblings?!) are bound to make.
The big things help, too: namely the ability to lean on others when you need them most, which is priceless. “I had just a great support system around me to help,” she says. And now she’s learning to be that support system for others.
“When I see some of my girlfriends who are also now having babies and who are going through the newborn phase, I try to gently say, ‘You know, it’s okay. I get it. I totally understand if you don’t want me to hold your baby. But if you do, I’m here. If you want to take some time or if you do need someone to come over and make a meal or just do laundry or to help in any way,'” she says.
“I’m much more aware now because I’ve gone through it. Before going through that phase, you don’t know, because you’ve never lived it.”
It’s true — before becoming a mother, you don’t know what it’s like to go through sleepless nights (although Kufrin reports that Benny is currently a sleeping champ!). You don’t know what it’s like to be in the throes of postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety. And you don’t know that you might turn into that mom who wants to throw her baby an adorable AF birthday party — logic be damned!
