These kids yelling ‘Where LaMelo at?’ to Michael Jordan has me mad with old man anger

THAT’S THE GOAT YOU’RE TALKING TO!

There’s all sorts of things you have to accept when you get old, but the misplaced energy of youth is definitely the most rage-inducing. So, when some kids in Charlotte decided to stake out a parking deck used by Hornets players in the hopes to see LaMelo Ball, only to be bummed out when they only saw MICHAEL JORDAN, it was too much for me.

“We finna see LaMelo Ball. That’s not LaMelo ... but IT’S MICHAEL JORDAN! Michael Jordan, can I get a pic? Michael Jordan, where LaMelo at?”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a Hornets fan and it would be neat to meet him — but nothing, NOTHING compares with meeting Michael Jordan. I had Jordan posters all over my walls, my VHS copy of Michael Jordan’s Playground has warped audio from being overplayed. You’re talking about being in the presence of the greatest basketball player of all time, and turning him into a vehicle to get you closer to LaMelo Ball.

I seriously can’t handle this. Mike was right there kids. Go work on your history lessons and come back, because you can’t just ask the GOAT where some other player is. I’m irrationally angry, not just at these kids, but at myself for marching closer to becoming a pile of dust.