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A death row inmate’s plea: ‘Would you allow me to exist?’

In his own words, Taberon Honie “exists” in prison.

The death row inmate, who is scheduled to be executed by lethal injection on Aug. 8 for the gruesome rape and murder of his ex-girlfriend’s mother, compared himself to fertilizer, “helping things grow.” He’s changed over two decades of incarceration, he argued, earning his diploma and the trust of prison staff, while supporting his daughter as she struggled with addiction.

On Monday, he imparted what could be one of his final pleas: “Would you allow me to exist?”

“I’ve shown you that I can exist in prison. I’m not a threat to the public, I’m not a threat to anyone,” Honie told the Utah Board of Pardons and Parole during the first day of his commutation hearing.

Once the two-day hearing is over, the board will decide whether Honie’s execution will continue as planned, or if he will instead serve the remainder of his life in prison with no chance of parole.

Honie was convicted and sentenced to death in 1999 for sexually assaulting then murdering Claudia Benn, the mother of his ex-girlfriend. According to court documents, Honie took a cab at about 11:20 p.m. to Benn’s home, where he proceeded to argue with her through a glass door. While her three grandchildren were inside, Honie used a rock to break the door and enter the home.

He then sexually assaulted Benn before cutting her throat and mutilating her body, according to court documents. Two of the three children had blood on them and court testimony would later reveal Honie admitted to molesting one of them.

Honie has unsuccessfully appealed the sentence in the years since the conviction and earlier this summer the Utah Department of Corrections received an execution warrant.

A remorseful sounding Honie told the board on Monday that he’s not proud of the things that he did and wishes he could take them back.

“Claudia didn’t need that stuff done to her. She’s never hurt me in any way to do that to her,” Honie said, telling the board that he’s a changed man.

“Could I take that back? I wish I could. Am I proud of it? No. Am I making excuses? No,” Honie said, a sentiment he would repeat several times over the 45 minutes he spent making his statement and fielding questions from the board.

“The individual who committed those crimes ain’t the individual that is talking to you today. For the last 20 years I’ve been going by culpability, accountability, responsibility. But no matter how much change I make, I can’t make that right to their family,” he said.

Despite Honie’s emphasis on accountability and aversion to making excuses, he also told the board several times that he was in a drug-induced haze the day he murdered Benn, which he believes led him to commit the crimes that would later lead to his death sentence.

“I’m not trying to minimize anything. I’m not trying to take away from Claudia’s family’s pain,” he said. “I would feel the same way they do. I’ve read the declarations. Yes, I’m a monster. Yes, I’m a P.O.S. The only thing that kept me going all these years is the only thing I know 100%, is this would have never happened if I was in my right mind. That’s the only thing that I know 100%.”

Honie’s memory from the day he killed Benn is foggy. He told the board that he started drinking and doing drugs at 8 a.m. and important details — like how he broke into Benn’s home, why they were arguing in the first place, specifics about how she fought back — are lost to him. He said he was likely planning to sleep under Benn’s porch, like he had before, and that he was aware the children were in the home.

“But I truly don’t remember a lot of it,” he said.

Key to Honie’s plea was his daughter, who is in recovery and has battled addiction. He helps her the best he can, Honie told the board.

“How can I come over here and ask you guys to spare me? Because I’m her helper, I’m her guiding light, I’m her pillar,” Honie said, while acknowledging he took that same “guiding light” away from Benn’s family when he murdered her.

“I’m the one that took that,” he said. “I killed Claudia Benn.”

‘What life?’

The hearing on Monday also included testimony from Matthew Sakiestewa Gilbert, a professor and head of the University of Arizona’s Department of American Indian Studies; Victoria Reynolds, a clinical psychologist who specializes in psychological trauma; and Honie’s mother and daughter.

Together, the testimony painted a picture of Honie defined by childhood trauma and addiction. Sakiestewa Gilbert said both of Honie’s parents attended Indian boarding schools, leaving them with lasting trauma.

Reynolds said Honie watched his mother attempt suicide at a young age; at 12 years old he began drinking and smoking marijuana habitually, later turning to inhalents, cocaine, hallucinogenics and eventually “whatever substance was available”; and at 18 years old, he suffered a traumatic brain injury while running from police, one of many brain injuries during his life that would leave him unconscious or seeing stars.

Honie’s daughter said she now struggles with addiction, telling the board “my father is there for me however he can be.”

And his mother, Teresita Honie, read a prepared statement asking the board to spare her son’s life. Her family has already been through turmoil, she said, with one of her children having died of cancer and another recently diagnosed.

“I’m told that you all would like to take his life away. To this I say, what life? Twenty-six years ago, my son’s life was taken. Since then, he exists in a facility, being told when to eat, when to sleep, when to get up and when he can go out to get some sun. This is not life, but existence,” she said.

“Is it not enough suffering that I have to endure yet for my son to be taken, as he has already been taken 26 years ago?” she said, concluding her statement.

Department of Corrections gets new drug for lethal injection

Honie sued officials with the Utah Department of Corrections earlier this month over the cocktail the state had planned to use in his execution. But over the weekend, the state said it had obtained a dose of pentobarbital, which has been used in federal executions and is authorized in at least 10 states.

That marks a change in the state’s original plan to use ketamine, fentanyl and potassium chloride, an unproven and never before used cocktail. Honie’s attorney argued the drugs would cause unnecessary pain and suffering, while triggering hallucinations, paranoia and “mental anguish.”

Now that the department secured pentobarbital — which Honie’s attorney previously argued is the preferred method for execution — attorneys for the state say the lawsuit should be dismissed.

Utah News Dispatch is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Utah News Dispatch maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor McKenzie Romero for questions: info@utahnewsdispatch.com. Follow Utah News Dispatch on Facebook and X.

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