It’s easy to get lost in the endless loop of daily routine in a big city, going back and forth between home and work without a moment to just sit back and take a breath. The city lifestyle lends itself to a work-heavy culture and attitude, and with the increased emphasis on productivity over the past several years—not to mention the blurring of lines between the home and office with remote schedules amid the aftermath of the Covid-19 pandemic—many of us have lost appreciation for socializing and decompressing.
While homes and workplaces are often tied to responsibility and monotony, it’s important to have alternative physical spaces dedicated to relaxing and socializing. These spaces that provide a respite from burnout and create communities that share hobbies are key to maintaining balance and restoring motivation. In his 1989 book The Great Good Place, urban sociologist Ray Oldenburg named these spaces “third places,” as opposed to the home (the “first place”) and work (the “second space”).
Third places (not to be confused with the third space, an entirely different concept) offer an escape from demanding work and productivity culture; they are gathering places to socialize and unwind in person. Think of Central Perk from Friends: a sit-down spot where time slows down and a sense of community blossoms. Oldenburg called third spaces the “anchors of community life” because of their integral role in bringing people together and cultivating conversation.
Beyond just social connection, third places can help relieve exhaustion, lower stress levels, and boost mental health and general well-being. If you’re unsure where to start, simply walk down the street and start to explore. Instead of charging down the block and letting the beauty of the city’s many corner shops and colorful enclaves blur into the background, pay attention to your surroundings. Bookstores, coffee shops and green spaces are ideal spots if you’re seeking a third place that doesn’t necessarily involve typical nightlife like bars and club lounges.
New York City offers a treasure trove of potential third places around every corner. Many small businesses promote activity-based socialization, from book clubs to game nights. Whether it’s a community garden or a new cozy cafe, there are plenty of excuses to break your routine, reconnect with old friends and make some new ones.
Both you and your dog can make new friends at this pet-friendly café in the East Village. Get that much-needed serotonin boost in the most wholesome way possible: enjoying brunch and meeting new pups and people. The café offers unique drinks like The Horton, a spicy take on traditional hot chocolate, and The Eloise, a sweet-and-salty maple latte. A dedicated pet menu includes treats and ice cream. The combination of puppies running around and warm breakfast sandwiches is plenty to brighten up your mornings, and the café also holds scheduled events for community building, including dog-friendly comedy shows, pop-ups and adoption events almost every night to connect with other pup aficionados. “Because we’re an off-leash, dog-friendly cafe, the dogs are bouncing from table to table,” Logan Mikhly, a Boris and Horton co-founder, tells Observer. “You kind of end up having to interact with your neighbors—it’s like a dog park.”
In my household, it’s sacrilege not to begin your day with a piping hot cup of chai, and with good reason—sipping the earthy tea, infused with cardamom and spices, is the coziest way to relax as the weather gets cooler. The Chai Spot is a New York City gem that brings a piece of South Asia to Little Italy, with innovative drinks like the Coconut Rose chai and Orange Blossom Green Iced Tea. The café’s true magic, however, lies in its traditional, baithak-style seating. Patrons take off their shoes and relax on plush, brightly-colored mattresses on the ground while lo-fi music echoes throughout the room. The café also provides board games and books, making it easy to spend hours in the comforting eatery, catching up with old friends while ordering round after round of piping hot samosas.
Japanese design meets Nordic coffee flavors at La Cabra, a coffee shop with locations in SoHo, Bushwick and the East Village. The serene café’s decor is inspired by Scandinavian minimalism, with wood-accented walls, earthy dishware and muted tones. The café discourages devices, serving as a reminder to take a break from the internet and social media, instead cultivating the ideal environment to socialize IRL, read or journal, instead of another coworking space. “We are setting a tone for your visit in our cafés and bakeries that invites slowing down, being present and enjoying the moment,” Line Bork, La Cabra’s marketing coordinator, tells Observer.
La Cabra focuses on artisanal drinks, sourcing coffee beans from places like Burundi and Ethiopia and amplifying flavor profiles from berry to caramel to fruity. Try an espresso flight for a journey around the world or sip on tea while relaxing; either way, the roastery provides a much-needed oasis from the chaos of the city.
Staring at your computer screen for hours on end is a recipe for writer’s block, but the Lost Draft in SoHo might be the cure. The café is an open space for artists and creators to brainstorm, collaborate and work on pieces just for themselves. Work with peers and write script ideas to submit to the café’s pitch box, or rent out the attached black box theater and run lines. The director-style seating and barstools carry the film theme throughout, making a coffee date there an immersive experience. The coffee shop doesn’t sacrifice substance for style, with premium beverages and specialty drinks like the floral Osmanthus Latte and the nutty Sesame Latte.
Although this bookstore carries primarily French-American literature, the stunning celestial ceiling and plush furniture make it the most gorgeous go-to for after work or on the weekends. Tucked inside the historic Payne Whitney mansion, the shop has regal royal blue walls and ceilings accented by a hand-painted gold mural of constellations and stars. With interiors designed by Jacques Garcia, the bookshop is an escape to another realm—one notably without the stress of work.
Albertine also has a monthly book club for bookstore members with groups for French literature lovers to connect with those with whom you might have shared interests. Discover new authors during the bookstore’s weekly discussions open to everyone, featuring prominent French-American writers and publishers. Combined with the lively community, the ornate wooden furniture and warm chandeliers bring a piece of France to New York City for a transformative third place experience.
It’s hard to walk down any avenue without seeing a Strand tote bag. A New York City classic, it houses over “23 miles of books”—more than enough to spend hours getting lost in its several floors. The nearly century-old bookshop’s sprawling shelves are packed to the brim, making it feel more like a comfy library than a store. The front of the Broadway location is packed with new bestsellers, while the back and higher floors house vintage novels that call back to its history as being one of the original members of the city’s “book row.” The Strand also regularly holds themed events, from a discussion on the city’s architecture to a spooky drag show, for interests as diverse as New York City itself. With an attached café and a rare book room on the third floor, there’s more to explore than meets the eye.
There’s no better distraction than a good love story, and The Ripped Bodice provides the modern alternative to the stale Hallmark tropes on our TV screens. Entirely focused on romance novels, the bookshop houses stories that feature diverse characters and sexualities. The hyper-feminine decor, with a pastel pink facade, disco balls and flower arches, is a testament to the store’s identity. The owners and customers are always eager to chat about the latest releases, and there’s a variety of book clubs for whatever romantic trope you’re into. Join the Queer Lit book club for reads by publicly queer authors or the Quest for Love club for fantasy and paranormal romances. No matter how niche your taste, you’re sure to find someone at the Ripped Bodice who shares your interests.
The third place is all about finding a home-away-from-home hangout, and Three Lives and Company takes that concept to heart, with an intimate living room style design. The dark wooden floors and warm lighting, combined with the highly curated collection, make it feel like you’re within a welcoming home library, not in the middle of a metropolis. A quaint corner shop with bright red doors, Three Lives immortalizes a piece of old New York, an anachronism in the bustling city. There’s even an entire wall dedicated entirely to New York City-themed literature, the perfect place to spend hours going down rabbit holes and ending up in 1980s NYC. Because of its historic nature, authors often host book signings and releases at Three Lives, making it a great spot to meet other fans of the same writers in line.
New York City is home to hundreds of community gardens, and they’re often a welcome alternative to the chaos of the most popular green spaces, like Central Park. Tucked away in neighborhood lots and tended to by volunteers planting flowers and vegetables, these public spaces are peaceful oases where the sound of birds chirping replaces the background noise of keyboard clicks. Elizabeth Street Garden in Little Italy is like if a Monet met a community garden, with granite sculptures and benches surrounded by ornate fountains, along with lush greenery and flower beds that create little enclaves. Managed by a nonprofit organization, it is open for public use and community events, and is perfect for a picnic meet-up with friends.
While the New York Botanical Garden is a must-visit, the 6BC Botanical Garden is its cozier, more rustic counterpart. Instead of neatly trimmed hedges and curated designs, the 6BC garden features sprawling greenery, quaint birdhouses and even a mini treehouse. Free and open to the public, it’s easy to visit during the day. Spend time decompressing while walking along the brick pathway that traces through the hedges, or perch along one of the small ponds in the garden. “When I step in there, all my anxiety just disappears,” says Merica May Jensen, a 6BC board member. “You can feel all the care that goes into the space.” The garden staff discourages the usage of devices, creating a distraction-free atmosphere. Swap out your smartphones for shovels and join their plot stewardship program to grow and maintain your own piece of the garden, while meeting other plant parents.
The High Line may seem like an overly saturated attraction, but don’t let the crowds deter you from visiting. Take a jog along the 1.5-mile stretch to clear your mind, or stop at one of the many benches for a chat. If you need a moment to yourself, there are plenty of small corners along the path to take a breath. When the weather’s nice, the park’s many overlooks feature stunning views of the skyline and the city’s old rail yards. The rotating exhibits of modern art along the way, including billboards and sculptures, are incentives to return. Take a detour to nearby Little Island for more seating and elevated views, or Chelsea Market for some of the best food and beverages in the city.
