Have a Bad Sex Story? We’d All Love to Read About It.
What’s March for? Apart from Women’s History Month (is it still legal to celebrate that?) and staying cautious of the Ides, not much! So let’s have ourselves a story contest.
Just like October belongs to Jezebel’s annual and beloved Scary Story Contest, we’re officially declaring March the month of Jezebel’s Bad Sex Story Contest. Veteran readers will remember how we had something similar more than a decade ago, so we’re eager to resume hearing about all your terrible and/or naughty sex stories.
Because by “bad” sex, we don’t just want the awkward, humiliating, cringe-inducing, quiet, or orgasm-less stories (which, by the way, we do want), but we also want your ~bad~ sex stories. The affairs, the forbiddens, the kinks, the If-it’s-bad-why-does-it-feel-so-good’s. If it’s a story you’ve never told your friends, but one you masturbate to all the time, give us the deets. Consider this comment section… your confessional.
Of course, we have a few rules, and unlike some bad behaviors, these rules are not meant to be broken.
- Your story can’t contain real names. We are not here to publicly shame, out, or embarrass anyone. If your story involves someone famous, or mildly famous, get creative in your description. Or just say it was someone famous—and nothing else.
- Your story must be true and, most importantly, consensual: The best guidance on this comes from former Jezebel editor Madeleine Davies, per our annual Scary Story Contest: You are “on the honor system here.” And it should go without saying, but do not submit anything that even so much as hints at assault, violence, rape, or any kind of nonconsensual act.
- No AI slop!: It’s not just having a suspicious number of em-dashes that can tip us off. We’ll know and we’ll disqualify your submission.
- Your submission must be a comment: E-mail it, and no one will ever read it.
- No book transcripts: No one needs to read 10,000 words about your sex life. Plus, submissions that are way too long are less likely to be considered for the shortlist.
We’ll post our 10 favorites at the end of the month. See you in the comments!
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