On Sunday, retired ball-thrower Tom Brady got skewered on Netflix‘s The Greatest Roast of All Time. Naturally, the event drew some of the most annoying elites (they are all Brady's friends, after all). Robert Kraft, Kim Kardashian, and Chelsea Handler were all on hand to say mean things. Unfortunately, most of them were...not that funny. Kevin Hart called him stupid, Jeff Ross called him gay, and Nikki Glaser called more attention to his wife's hot jiu-jitsu instructor boyfriend. While most of the jabs at Brady were about as flaccid as all those footballs the Patriots deflated (thank you! thank you! I'll be here all week!), those in the audience got dragged to absolute hell and back. For instance, Kardashian (who also attempted to get some shots in at Brady despite some apparent issues with the teleprompter) was one of them. "I know Kim was terrified to be here tonight," Brady told the audience at one point. "Not because of this, but because her kids are at home with their dad.” Ope! A Ye meltdown post is imminent, I fear. But that—or the onslaught of boos directed at Kardashian when she took the stage for a toast to Brady—wasn't even the most gasp-inducing moment. Jeff Ross, known as the "Roastmaster General" at the event, made a joke about massages aimed at Brady's former boss, Robert Kraft. Watch it here. You might remember that in 2019, the team's CEO was charged in a multicounty investigation of massage parlors in which authorities confirmed that Kraft and other men were recorded soliciting sex workers. Kraft never pleaded guilty to the solicitation charges and was ultimately cleared in 2020. The moment could've passed with a giggle or a shift in one's seat but Brady didn't see it that way. Instead, he exacerbated the situation and pulled a Will Smith. No, he didn't give Ross a shiner (imagine if he did though!). But he did get up from his seat and deliver this warning on Kraft's behalf in Ross' ear...that was caught on mic: "Don't say that shit again." Of all the things to get your jockstrap in a twist over it's...your zionist sex pest former boss's past indiscretions that does it? Interesting! The latest development of the Kendrick Lamar v. Drake rap beef: after the former accused the latter of being a pedophile, he promises he's not. OK! [Rolling Stone] So, I know Madonna isn't punctual but...you have to admit this is pretty powerful. [Daily Mail] Justice for the Italian model claiming he was fired after he upstaged Kylie Jenner at the Met Gala...[Page Six] And for these Cannes Film Festival workers. [The Hollywood Reporter] Real Housewife of New York Jessel Taank had a Clueless birthday party and I wasn't invited? As if! [People]
