Since Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet hard-launched last summer, we've been treated (?) to one cozy photo-op of the two after another—only for things to eventually cool down over the last couple of months amid scattered rumors they’d broken up. Enter: a photo of Jenner wearing a loose-fitted tracksuit at a funeral, a particularly crazy episode of Daniel Tosh’s Tosh Show podcast earlier this month, and a couple of rogue pop news stan accounts, and bam! The latest, craziest KarJenner pregnancy rumor was born. While a Thursday report in Us Weekly unequivocally denies all of this, we'll get to that shortly—first, how we got here! On Tuesday, @PopTingz baselessly tweeted that “Kylie Jenner is rumored to be pregnant, expecting a baby with Timothée Chalamet.” The tweet came a couple of weeks after Tosh's April 2 episode, where he mentioned that The Kardashians had filmed scenes depicting Jenner's pregnancy reveal. “Here’s something crazy. I went to the grocery store in Malibu, and I was talking to an employee there. I try to avoid it but I was talking to this guy, and I said, ‘Why were you guys closed yesterday?’ He goes, ‘Well, I’m not supposed to discuss it, but Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the show, was filming their season finale here yesterday,’” Tosh claimed. “Spoiler alert, this is for the upcoming season of the show. This is the big season finale. This random grocery store person is telling me that they rented out the entire store, shut it down and then, they acted like they were grocery shopping.” In other words, Tosh’s source for all this was simply, “Trust me, bro.” Then, earlier this week, several tabloids and blogs shared a photo of Jenner posing with her family while wearing a tracksuit—at the funeral of Kris Jenner's sister, Karen Houghton—and pointed to the outfit as iron-clad evidence that Jenner is pregnant. Sure, a tracksuit is an odd ensemble for a funeral, but what should she have worn?? A black, mesh bodycon dress?? In any case, rumors that Jenner is carrying the Lisan al-Gaib, AKA the Dune star’s child, have spread like a rash across social media, unleashing torrents of undeniably very funny jokes. Sadly, Us Weekly arrived on Thursday to rain on Twitter’s parade. Sources told the outlet, “Kylie is not pregnant.” So, that settles that, I guess! The insiders speaking to Us Weekly maintained that the two are together, despite break-up rumors over the last couple of months, but are currently trying to navigate long-distance: “Kylie and Timothée have been keeping in touch while he’s been in [Manhattan] filming and are still together.” Jenner and Chalamet were first linked about a year ago, broke the internet by aggressively PDA-ing at a Beyoncé concert in August, and have been out and about doing their thing, apparently very much not pregnant, ever since. But who knows—maybe some powerful manifesting from @PopTingz and Daniel Tosh will bring them a bundle of joy in the future. Irina Shayk is “boyfriend-shopping” post-fling with Tom Brady. Me too! Except for the Tom Brady part. [Page Six] Emma Stone's birth name reveal honestly shocked me??? [E! Online] Matty Healy’s mom, Denise Welch, joked that she “wasn’t aware” of Taylor Swift’s latest album, which heavily recounts her relationship with him. Loooollll. [People] Elisabeth Moss broke her spine while filming her upcoming show, The Veil???? [Variety] Lily Gladstone and Bowen Yang are set to co-star in the remake of iconic rom-com The Wedding Banquet. Say less. [NBC] OK, well, if you still somehow believe Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are just a PR couple, here's a photo of them sitting…
