Photo credit: Mary Rendina Photography
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Ruth Furman. It has been edited for length and clarity.
At 57, I'm still working as the principal of my own public relations and digital communications firm while my husband, Michael, is retired. Intentional communication and flexibility have helped us navigate our relationship dynamic.
In 2001, I was laid off from a consulting position after the company restructured. Considering that I once believed I would be at that company forever, I took being laid off personally. I received offers from other companies after being laid off, but I knew none of them would provide me with the flexibility or sense of excitement I was seeking in my career.
Immediately after being laid off, I decided to take a leap and start my own business, ImageWords Communications. Even without going to business school, I knew I could do it. It took hustle, but after I landed my first client, my company has grown organically over the years.
Michael and I just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. We met in 1997 after being set up by his cousin and a friend of mine. At the time, Michael was already living in Las Vegas, where we now live, while I was living in Chicago. Prior to meeting in person, we communicated through email and phone calls. Then, I flew to Las Vegas for work, and we had a whirlwind first-date weekend.
Earlier in his career, Michael worked on Wall Street, but in 2019, he retired from a job in the sports book at a Las Vegas-based casino.
Although Michael, who just turned 70, will soon have Social Security, we planned for his retirement by determining the minimum amount of money my business needed to earn to maintain our lifestyle without his income.
Even though Michael decided he would retire about 18 months before doing so, it still came fast.
I really enjoy the work I do in my business and giving back to young people through mentorship, which I do through my business and outside it. I have often advised college students, given presentations, and occasionally hired students to help with special projects. I also mentor people laid off from jobs as it happens often in the media industry. While I always wanted to have kids, I don't have any children of my own, but serving as a mentor to young people in business not only brings me immense joy but also fuels me.
What I love about my current work lifestyle is the flexibility. The ability to work from anywhere allowed me to spend seven months working remotely in Indiana, helping my mom before her death.
But the hours can be a bit all over the place sometimes; I often get up around 4:15 a.m. and work in multiple time zones to keep up with clients. Michael's schedule is much more structured. Michael typically spends his weekdays following the stock market through podcasts and television as it's something he enjoys doing, and he also wants to manage our investments.
He also takes walks with his sister, who lives around the corner from us, every morning. My schedule not only impacts my ability to spend time with Michael but also with other family and friends. But he has been very understanding of my schedule, and I try to ensure I take breaks with him during the workday. If I can take a break at 3:30 p.m., we have an afternoon coffee together.
Prioritizing communication and flexibility has helped us navigate a relationship dynamic. Though he retired five years ago, I've only recently gotten better at communicating with him about my work schedule, so it takes time. For example, there might be a situation where he's watching a TV show about the stock market on a day when I'm working from home, and the volume will be too loud.
Instead of assuming he knows I'm working, I'll go into a quiet room and close the door. Or if he's asking me a question while I'm in the middle of something or trying to get my attention, we've developed certain hand signals so that he knows I'm working.
When Michael first retired, I fell into the trap of thinking, "Oh, you're retired, of course, you'll do certain tasks instead of saying I'm working, would you be willing to run this errand?" for example.
Regarding household labor, we've learned that we each gravitate toward what we're good at. Not only am I not good at emptying or loading the dishwasher, but I also just don't enjoy doing it, so that's usually Michael's domain. If I can make time, I will take care of it. But we also enjoy doing tasks together, such as grocery shopping.
Even in my 50s, I'm not ready to retire, but I want to live my life as if I'm semi-retired, prioritizing my personal life and hiring as much help as I need to meet my commitments to clients so I can do that.
If you have a story about family, relationships, or health you'd like to share with Business Insider, please get in touch with me at cgriffin@businessinsider.com
