Courtesy of Andrew Paul Skoog
Andrew Paul Skoog is a busy man. He's the president of a Midwest manufacturing company, a life coach, a motivational speaker, and, oh yeah, he has 10 kids.
The Minnesota-based businessman and father knows a thing or two about striking a healthy work-life balance. Skoog told Business Insider that he finds purpose in counseling other male over-achievers and helping them work through professional and personal turmoil.
"These men come to me because they're not living in balance in their lives," Skoog said. "They've gotten so focused on climbing, they've forgotten to have fun along the way."
The wisdom he's able to offer his clients, however, was hard-earned. Skoog said he's only able to guide others to a more balanced life because he himself "almost lost it all."
Always ambitious, Skoog said he was eager to reach the top of the ladder as quickly as possible — a desire that drove him to work increasingly long hours over the years. His tenacious attitude worked for a while; he found himself racking up successes at work and the finances to match, he said.
But his home life struggled as a result. In 2014, Skoog said his wife finally confronted him about his absenteeism and demanded a change.
Saddened and scared, Skoog said he enrolled in a leadership training class that "rocked my world" and helped him gain some much-needed perspective.
"It forced me to take a deep look at myself and how I was showing up," he said of the class.
The benefits of better balancing his work with his home life were near immediate — both his professional and personal life were improved within the year, Skoog said, citing stronger relationships with his kids and an "explosion" of business.
"I realized I can't do it all," he said. "I needed help."
Skoog said he was ultimately inspired to become a life coach after recovering from a stress-induced autoimmune disorder a few years back. Now, he helps other people turn their lives around.
Many of Skoog's clients present with the same problem, he said: they're so driven to work hard and provide for their families that they inadvertently neglect their loved ones as a result.
Skoog has a long list of probing questions he asks his clients to try to get to the root of their issues. But once they've come to terms with what they're looking to address — often their floundering work-life balance — Skoog instructs them to do something, perhaps unexpected.
He tells them to make a bucket list.
"They are driven to succeed and constantly in accumulation mode," Skoog said. "But most of them don't have a bucket list of things they actually want to do."
First, he has his clients add 25 things to their bucket list. Next, he asks them to add 25 more. Usually, he encourages them to get to at least 100 items.
Then, he has his clients take the top 10 items on their newly created bucket list and literally add them to the calendar over the next five years, followed by the next 10 items across 20 years.
"It's often the catalyst for them to realize that they haven't had any fun in the last few years," Skoog said. "Once it's on the calendar, though, it's amazing how many things you'll do."
The bucket list technique is one Skoog himself learned during the leadership class he took a decade ago. He and his wife subsequently created their own list together, adding things they wanted to do individually, together, and as an entire family.
"Everything I wrote down, I got, including the place we're living in now," Skoog said.
He's seen the bucket list method work for men beyond himself, too. Skoog said many of his clients end up with some sort of travel at the top of their lists. He's seen couples rekindle their relationship thanks to a well-timed European vacation.
Creating and implementing a bucket list helps people slow down and remember why they're working so hard in the first place, Skoog said. Plus, it allows them to have a little fun along the way.
"You'd be surprised. One guy wanted to fly a fighter jet," Skoog said. "He did — well, he was a passenger. And he puked."
