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As the media industry is notoriously tough to break into, I felt grateful when I landed a yearlong contract at a broadcasting organization in my early 20s. However, after a few months, my excitement turned to frustration when I realized my job wasn't going anywhere.
Looking back, there were red flags right from the start. I worked predominantly with higher-level managers and executives, so I was often alone at my desk while they were in meetings. When they were around, their conversations were generally irrelevant to my role, and I certainly couldn't afford the expensive bars they frequented. I was the most junior on the team yet the managers openly discussed how their salaries weren't high enough — despite being double what I was paid.
My role also meant that I worked almost exclusively with companies outside the organization, so I never had any real opportunity to build or showcase my skills to colleagues in the office. As I desperately wanted to be able to find another job at the company, I became increasingly anxious and my mental health started to suffer. These feelings were exacerbated when I saw my peers moving between jobs and gaining the credits that I also needed to have longevity in a competitive industry.
I stuck it out for the first year — until my anxiety became so bad that I knew I would only get better if I left. I told my immediate manager I was applying for new jobs within the company. I didn't worry about it too much as my contract was nearly up.
My plan worked, as I was shortlisted to interview for better-paying jobs at the same company. This was a huge relief, as my role was woefully underpaid, and I needed the extra money.
What I didn't realize was that my higher-up boss had renegotiated my contract with HR for another year without consulting me. It forced me to explain to her that I had interviews coming up — despite already telling my immediate manager. She'd done it because my role was tough to fill, and HR had signed off on a contract extension to avoid recruiting again.
As this was only revealed in the last weeks of my job, it imperiled my plan to leave and feel normal again. Even though I knew this wasn't my responsibility, I still cried during a meeting with my boss. She wanted me to stay and couldn't understand why I wanted to leave. It was also frustrating that the company preferred to retain that role with all its issues instead of changing it to make it more appealing for new recruits.
Against her wishes, I went to the interviews, and thankfully, I was offered a higher position at the company.
HR eventually accepted my resignation and moved me into my new role — but not without a few weeks left on my current contract. I had to stay on for an additional five weeks while they found someone, which I spent trying to please my team by creating a detailed handover for my replacement. Still, those last days were intensely boring, and my boss's resistance to my resignation cast a shadow over the rest of my time there.
Once I moved jobs, I realized that all of my instincts about the role were correct. Not only was I being paid more for my new position, but it was less stressful, there were more opportunities, and I had coworkers who became my friends. Even within the same company, the situation was entirely different, and I learned many new skills there. Most importantly, I stopped having panic attacks, and my mental health improved.
After years of working in the media industry, I'm proud that I stood my ground despite the intense turmoil I felt while doing it. I now know that people leave jobs and move around all the time for reasons similar to mine.
It should never feel personal to leave a job, nor should anyone have to spend so much time in an environment where they feel unhappy. This is especially true when there are much better career options waiting for you. So I'm glad that I stood up myself, which was scary as a junior staff member but empowering in the long run.
