Editor’s note: Sleekmodupe, the NAIJ.com partner blogger, names seven powerful reasons why some Nigerian men are scared of marriage.
Her blog Sleek Modupe centres on entertaining, educating, food recipes, sports, interviews celebs OAPS, Nigerians Africans ETC and others.
The recession presently in Naija is hitting hard on everyone and especially the men who are supposed to be the head of the family. How will a man function properly when he is financially handicapped? There are countless reasons why a lot of ladies are still rendered single and not getting marriage proposals.
Here are the reasons:
1. The economic recession
In fact, this is one of the major reasons. Imagine a 32 years old guy with no accommodation of his own which is no fault of his. He has graduated and has done what is expected of him as a scholar and has no Monday-Friday white collar job or a streamline of businesses that comes in quarterly. How can a man propose to a woman in such a state? Men who marry women who are more financially buoyant than them later become intimidated.
READ ALSO: Read the major reasons why Nigerian men get married
You hear cases of domestic violence, the man saying the woman is proud, talks to him arrogantly because she has money more money than him, it’s a very big issue, its best the man and woman both have jobs and are financially independent. It’s better the man working and the woman taking care of the children.
A woman can contribute to the upkeep of the family. Modernization theory says it doesn’t matter, looking at the drama between husband and wife palaver it matters except few.
2. Baggage from the past
YES! In fact, the war of the roses on the sexes is on; hormones are raging, the fights, the tweets, the insults on social media. Couples nowadays don’t know how to control their anger, we need anger management consultancy in Nigeria. Both men and women have different issues from past relationship, parental upbringing, turbulence all this stops a lot of men and women from having a loving relationship. Man meets a woman, falls in love or lust in a quote before you know it, a lot of hot sex under the sheets and all of a sudden, the reality of whom you are stares at you right in the face. Naked and not ashamed, so this really scares men a lot – the drama that comes with the relationship.
3. Pride and arrogance
Some men have this issue. You see the bible even condemns pride. When a man feels he knows it all, works in a well-paid company, can have any other woman he wants and do whatever he wants with whomever he wants and gets away with it, when he meets women, he feels none is worthy of him, he picks and looks for faults at intervals, the way the lady dresses, cooks even have sex. He has his type and most times his type is as proud as he is. So he remains single. Men like this ends up taking their girlfriends as their wives and their wives as their girlfriends. When the pressure from his family is high – if he finally marries, he marries for children.
4. Getting sex is very easy
Those days when men have to work hard to even get a lady to hold her hand. He will take her for walks, play slow blues. It was genuine, the sex came later when the relationship have developed to be exclusive, then the lovemaking comes with so much passion and enthusiasm. Now it’s easy to get a bedmate, sex is so cheap and easy and they feel every woman is the same, so they just don’t feel the need to be committed to any woman. They even feel comfortable having baby mama than a wife tying them down.
5. Losing their independence
We have a lot of professional and career oriented men – men who feel so at ease with their lives to get a woman to say they want to spend the rest of their lives with – that woman has to be extraordinary to take him off his work chair. This class of men manage their emotions and have respect for their bodies, they don’t just have sex, they make love. For a woman to make them look twice – she really must be something. They don’t mind waiting till when they are 50 years.
6. Lifestyle
The reason why some women are still single is that some guys refuse to be responsible, that’s just it. Some are drug addicts, have no vision, they hang out all day with weirdos taking a lot of hard substance and when you look at this guys, they aren’t that bad – some from good family. SAD! This have left a lot of single ladies unmarried. Who wants to commit their lives to such men?
7. Fear of the unknown
Finally, some men feel a lot of women pretend, when they get into their house they change and become demons. LOL! Because they think they are smart they want to marry women they can control only to find out she is worse than their talkative ex-girlfriend. Some married men lament, they claim they married the wrong woman. Oops!
READ ALSO: 10 reasons Nigerian men are scared of getting married
Mr. Otunu was dating Angela, he complained she was talkative and cannot be controlled because she expressed herself, his family liked her, he wanted a woman he can control. He later meet Yemisi who is quiet and respective in quote, she kneels down to greet everyone, she cooks, he was excited he has met his wife, he dumped Angela. Ten (10) years later when they had a big quarrel she broke the flat screen TV and then went to his wardrobe and cut all his Italian suit with big scissors.
Uncle Otunu is depressed and they have two (2) girls who watch them fight. He heard from friends on facebook that Angela lives in France married to a Delta man and has three (3) boys and her marriage is working contrary to what he taught her. This fear grips a lot of guys and this cause delay in making decisions on marriage.
Her blog: sleekmodupe.blogspot.com
She could be also reached through Facebook: Modupe Ahmed Twitter: @adupsyduck
The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily represent the editorial policy of Naij.com.
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