New Events for the 2016 Rio Olympics
A timed event in which athletes attempt to stack cinder blocks to create a simple, dormitory-like structure—coincidentally on the very spot where an actual dormitory was supposed to have been completed six months ago. Medallists will receive the added reward of getting to sleep inside the safe-ish structure that they have just constructed. Non-medallists will be housed in a luxurious beachside hotel, just as soon as they build it.