Why It's Hard to Ask for Help

After my last blog post, I was prompted to dig deeper into the reasons why I do not like to ask for help. It turns out that my reluctance stems from a history of failed attempts, an unwillingness to show vulnerability, as well as a desire to be fiercely independent. Together, these factors make for a warped approach to seeking assistance.

It is no surprise that I have missed many cues for opportunities when articulating the need for help would have been timely and fortunate. During my senior year in high school, I took an advanced math class that moved at a rapid clip. There were also difficult weekly tests that the teacher did not grade in a timely manner. I fretted over the absence of information and became convinced that I was failing. Although I grew more dejected each day, I did not once go to office hours. I was too afraid to reveal myself as someone who did not comprehend the material. Believing that I was a lost cause, I did not even study for the trimester's final exam. I failed. When the teacher called me into her office to explain that I had to drop to a lower level class, I was not shocked. But I was dumbfounded to learn that I had been doing just fine up until the final. Why hadn't I sought her counsel? At the very least I would have passed the exam.

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