'Depleted Motherhood Syndrome' Is A Deep, Chronic Burnout – These Are The Signs

‘Depleted motherhood syndrome’ is a term some medical professionals are using to describe the deep, chronic burnout many mothers are quietly living with.

From nonstop exhaustion to guilt, isolation, anxiety, and even “mum rage”, more women say they feel completely depleted. One survey by Peanut app and Tommee Tippee of 2,000 UK mothers found 81% had experienced burnout.

Yet experts warn that when this kind of burnout goes unchecked, it can seriously impact both mental and physical health.

What are the signs of ‘depleted mother syndrome’?

Dr Allison Venzon, a family medicine physician at Duly Health and Care, told HuffPost UK: “Stress is often viewed as part of motherhood. Some stress is normal. But there’s a point where stress becomes unhealthy.”

When everyday stress crosses into depleted mother syndrome – sometimes called “mum burnout” – it can quietly affect nearly every part of life.

“Instead of stress coming and going, it becomes constant,” said Dr Venzon. “Mothers may feel worn down most of the time. Even when they rest, they don’t feel refreshed.”

The expert noted that the first signs typically show up physically. This might look like persistent low energy, deep fatigue that doesn’t improve with sleep, frequent headaches, getting sick more often, or changes in appetite.

And then there are the emotional elements. “Mental exhaustion, irritability, guilt, and shame are common,” said Dr Venzon. “Some mums feel lonely or question whether they’re a ‘bad’ mum, while others wonder why motherhood feels harder than they expected, or notice they don’t feel like the parent they used to be.”

As burnout takes hold, behavioural changes often follow. “This might look like snapping at a child or partner over something minor, intense emotional highs and lows (sometimes described as “mum rage”) or withdrawing socially because everything feels like too much,” said Dr Venzon.

“Mothers may notice they’re dropping the ball in other areas of life, like work and relationships.”

Dr Emma Svanberg, author of Parenting For Humans, previously told HuffPost UK some people experiencing parental burnout might notice their parenting changes and is different to how they’d usually parent, or they appear to emotionally distance themselves from their children (because they can’t physically withdraw from them).

What to do about ‘mum burnout’

The key here is recognising it – and then finding small, manageable and meaningful ways to get better.

“When depleted mother syndrome goes unrecognised, it can create a difficult cycle of exhaustion, guilt, and poor sleep that deepens over time,” said Dr Venzon.

“Chronic stress also increases the risk of anxiety and depression, which is why this isn’t something to push through quietly. These signs don’t mean you’re doing something wrong – they’re signals that care and support are needed.”

Small, consistent steps can make a difference. Practices like mindfulness – whether through deep breathing, gentle movement, or simply slowing down and being present – can help calm the nervous system and reduce the sense of constant urgency, said the doctor. 

Self-care is also important, though she noted it’s often misunderstood. “It doesn’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming. Sometimes it’s as simple as taking 15 minutes alone, eating regular meals, getting outside, or prioritising sleep,” she said.

“Setting boundaries, asking for help, and sharing responsibilities can be just as important as rest.”

In a world where comparison culture thrives, particularly on social media, Dr Venzon noted that letting go of unrealistic parenting expectations can also help ease burnout.

“There’s no such thing as perfect parenting, and striving for it often adds unnecessary pressure. Doing what works for your family – even if it looks different from what you see online – can significantly lighten the mental load,” she noted.

And if feelings of exhausting, irritability, sadness, or emotional numbness persist, reaching out to a healthcare provider or mental health professional can also help.

“Support isn’t a last resort, it’s part of taking care of yourself,” said the doctor.

“Motherhood asks for a lot, and feeling depleted doesn’t mean you’re failing – it means you’re human.

“Burnout isn’t something to push through quietly or carry alone. With support, rest, and realistic expectations, it’s possible to feel more like yourself again. Mums deserve more than survival; they deserve care, too.”

Help and support:

• Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
• Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI - this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
• CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
• The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
• Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.