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Growing up, I did not miss school. Maladies like Chickenpox and raging stomach bugs that didn't respond to ginger ale and saltines were the only acceptable reasons for being absent. Vacations were for summer and the occasional Christmas visits to grandparents.
My kids — the youngest two are in high school — have had unarguably cooler traveler experiences. Pulling them out of school to see the world was never the goal; it just sort of happened.
It started with living in Europe while my daughter was in elementary school. I discovered low-budget air carriers with cheap weekday flights from Frankfurt to London. I decided that seeing the crown jewels with our eyes was better than seeing pictures in a book and that missing a few days of third grade wouldn't hurt anything.
When my sons were in first grade, I learned I could save a substantial chunk of change by traveling to the Caribbean in early fall instead of late summer. Cruise lines, theme parks, and other vacation spots catering to families charge more in the summer, and I found I could save almost $3,000 by moving my early August cruise to late September. I decided my kids would probably still get into college if they missed a week of first grade. The verdict is still out on that one — they're halfway through their freshman year, but things are looking good.
Offseason vacations are just better. Resorts and flights are less chaotic, and we escaped the really hot part of the summer. Missing school in the elementary years was easy to navigate, and my kids did well with keeping up with their classes. Our travels were usually well-received by teachers, and we worked to keep the communication flowing and stay on everyone's good side, although sometimes only just. Our district policy allows up to nine unexcused absences per semester — anything above that, and we'd have to make our case to the administration.
We were close to the limit on the number of absences a couple of times but never hit the magic number nine.
But, as my kids got older, we encountered more teachers who were less than thrilled with our way of managing family travel. We managed to smooth things over when necessary and taught our kids to be proactive about requesting work in advance. When that wasn't possible, we helped them stay on top of their makeup work.
As they hit middle school, I noticed my "Hey kids guess where we're going!" announcements weren't being met with as much enthusiasm. Instead of excitement about seeing someplace new, the first question became, "Do we have to miss school?"
As my kids got older, they worked harder in school. Teachers are more heavy-handed with homework and projects, and once they hit high school, each grade becomes part of the bigger picture.
My kids became more aware of the ripple effects of not getting a good grade and began understanding the importance of cumulative learning. Missing a week of algebra and having to catch up on what you missed without falling further behind the rest of the class caused my kids stress. My kids don't struggle academically, but playing catchup wasn't easy after a certain point.
My boys are also athletes, and absences weren't winning them any points with their coaches. One of my sons is a starting pitcher and missed practice due to travel, and was subsequently benched for one game. These things started to take a little bit of the shine out of exploring the world together, and I realized we needed to change how we planned to travel.
I don't love that my kids talk about how their performance in ninth grade will impact getting into their college of choice. Part of me wants to whisk them away to Disneyland, the Canadian Rockies, or the Great Barrier Reef and tell them they have lots of time to worry about being adults. But really, they don't.
I lament that I'm now a "regular mom" and not a "cool mom." Now, I plan our family vacations around school vacations, just like everyone else. Mostly. I'll still tack the occasional Friday onto a holiday Monday, but I'm more thoughtful about it now.
I'm not going to lie; I miss the days when I could pull them out of school because I saw a great deal on airfare. They've learned about fine art and architecture by visiting an art museum with a moveable sunscreen on the roof and practical things like how to exchange currency and navigate a major airport. They're also not timid about trying food that's not mac and cheese.
Most importantly, travel has taught my kids that the world is big and helped them be more open-minded about other cultures and viewpoints. Traveling as a family has strengthened our bond and taught us cooperation and problem-solving skills. I wouldn't have done things differently.
