You’re not selfish for saying no when someone asks you to do something that makes you uncomfortable. You’re allowed to have standards. You’re allowed to assert boundaries. You shouldn’t allow others to walk all over you without making a peep because you want to come across as polite. It’s not rude to stick up for yourself, to voice your mind, to state what you are and are not okay with enduring. You should never feel like you should keep quiet to keep the peace because your opinions matter. And anyone worthwhile will respect them.
You’re not selfish for walking away from a relationship that is incapable of fulfilling all of your needs. You shouldn’t stick around because you’re worried about hurting the other person. Pity and guilt aren’t reasons to stay in a relationship. You should only be with this person if you genuinely care about them and believe dating them makes you both better people. If you recognize that they aren’t what you want, then the right thing to do is walk away. It might hurt in the short term but it will benefit this person in the long term – even if they can’t see it yet.
You’re not selfish for making decisions that bring you the most happiness, even though your family and friends don’t approve. Even though it’s always great to have your loved ones on your side, you aren’t living life for anyone other than yourself. You have a right to make your own decisions, to have the final say over the course of your life. It doesn’t matter if anyone else feels like you’ve chosen the right major or career or life partner – as long as you’re happy with your decision, that’s all that matters.
You’re not selfish for cutting people out of your life who hurt you. Even if they were there for you in the past, that doesn’t mean you have to keep them around in the future. You don’t owe them anything, so don’t let them guilt trip you into keeping them around. If they are causing you pain, or you are simply growing in different directions and you don’t have the desire to be around them anymore, you’re allowed to walk away. You don’t have to keep people in your life permanently. Some are only temporary.
You’re not selfish for putting your mental health first. Even though others have a right to be annoyed when you cancel plans at the last second because you aren’t feeling great mentally, you also have the right to say no. You shouldn’t feel bad about doing what’s best for your own mental health. You know your body and mind better than anyone else, so if you know you need a break, give yourself a break. You can always make it up to them later. And if they don’t accept your apology, that’s okay, too. You can’t force anyone to remain in your world.
You’re not selfish for taking a break. You don’t want to push yourself too hard and end up burning out. Even though your employers or coworkers or parents might make you feel selfish and lazy for taking some time off, you deserve to rest. Your worth isn’t attached to how productive you are on any given day. You have value, even when you’re resting.
