After announcing in late September that she’d be leaving her role as “Today” show co-anchor, Hoda Kotb explained that there was a helpful exercise that had helped her take stock of her priorities: the “platter trick.”
In a TikTok video, she explains that she got out a platter and filled it with piles of paper scraps to represent different areas of her life (work, family, wellness, etc.), and said the visual she’d created helped her assess what areas needed more attention and what areas needed less.
I decided I could do the platter trick one better if I made a real charcuterie board — not to mention my family would have snacks when I was done.
I assigned each section of my life a cheese, cracker, veggie or treat, and arranged them on a large platter according to their importance. I tried to be brutally honest.
A one-and-a-half-pound wheel of brie represented my work, and I baked it ’til it was warm and oozing. My health and wellness were baby carrots and celery sticks, and they were not only few in number, but sadly wilted from being in the fridge too long. The yogurt dip was my rest and relaxation — and (big surprise!) there was barely a spoonful left in the container. My hubby was a hunk of havarti (the big cheese), and my daughter a dollop of lobster salad (pricey yet holding the most important spot on the board). I added a handful of dark chocolate French truffles to stand in for my creative pursuits — the new musical I’m writing and a book of essays I want to compile.
I stood back and took it all in. My platter left a lot to be desired. My work/brie was seeping into my Triscuits (my friendships) and making them soggy. And the space designated for my family overpowered my crudités (wellness). No wonder I had barely been to the gym this week! My sweets were barely noticeable, revealing the creative stuff that fed my soul was an afterthought at best. And, on closer inspection, my dip (downtime) was expired and mouldy. My charcuterie — and my life — was clearly a mess.
How had I failed to notice this up until now? I suppose it’s easy to get caught up in the frantic pace of daily minutia, squeezing things in rather than allowing yourself space and grace for what you need. But the platter trick showed me I’m in trouble. Things need to shift and change if I want to be happy, healthy and fulfilled this year.
Experts say the new year is the best time to take stock and reorganise. “The platter metaphor is really effective because it helps us visualise life as an array of ingredients,” said psychologist Cynthia Vejar. “At the same time, it helps us understand that not everything needs to take up equal space.”
Vejar recommends asking, “What’s nourishing me? What’s draining me? What are my empty calories, things like scrolling on TikTok, or not being able to say no to requests from others? This can glean insight into what items should remain, and what should be removed.”
Psychiatrist Michelle Dees said “cleaning your platter” is necessary to regain balance in life. “Once you’ve let go of thoughts and actions that are inconsequential, take some time to think about what really matters to you. Which pursuits give you a sense of satisfaction or accomplishment?”
It’s easy to get caught up in the frantic pace of daily minutia, squeezing things in rather than allowing yourself space and grace for what you need.
For me, this meant setting intentions and focusing on how and where my time and energy should be directed. Some of my work this past year was draining and unfulfilling, and I realised I didn’t have to say “yes” to every assignment that came my way. I could take a week off and work on lyrics for my musical. I could go for a long walk in the park. I could spend a week with my husband in Milan looking at art and architecture.
“Concentrating on what is important and what brings value will allow you to be more purposeful in living,” Dees added.
A quick glance at my calendar revealed it had been over a month since I took a yoga or reiki class — two things that grant me calm and peace. “Ask yourself, ‘What brought me joy this year, and what didn’t?’” suggested Stacy Thiry, a licensed mental health counsellor. “This question is a starting point for self-awareness. By identifying which parts of our lives give us energy and which drain it, we can make better choices.”
She stressed setting boundaries and using the platter principle to help you see where they belong. “Healthy boundaries help us protect our energy and show respect for our own needs and limits,” Thiry added.
I know that when it comes to professional commitments, I have a tough time saying no. Though I want to stay home and chill, I accept way too many invites to events, parties and press conferences. Thiry says it’s important to recognise your boundary “hot spots” and “check in with any feelings of resentment, frustration, avoidance you may have toward certain people, places, or environments.” The fact that I want to cancel or am dreading an event should be my first clue to take a pass.
“Pay attention to any resistance you find coming up,” Thiry said, “And practice phrases like ‘Sorry, I’m not available’ or ‘Unfortunately, that doesn’t work for me’ so boundary-setting feels less intimidating.”
Finally, I learned that I never need to apologise for rearranging my platter. According to Mary Poffenroth, author of “Brave New You: Strategies, Tools, and Neurohacks to Live More Courageously Every Day,” “It’s important to let go of perfectionism and remember that we don’t need to earn rest or self-care; we deserve it simply because we are human. Prioritising self-care should not be viewed as an indulgence, but rather as an essential investment in our long-term well-being and productivity.”
Translation: No regrets if I want to schedule a mani/pedi or stay home and watch “Dancing with the Stars” with my daughter. I can plan an afternoon tea with my best friend and sneak away to the movies to see “Wicked” for the third time. Just like my platter is a balance between flavours and textures, my life needs to be as well. That way, I’ll be ready to taste everything 2025 has in store — and savour it.
