DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been left off the guest list at my partner’s son’s wedding because her ex has a problem with me being black.
I’m a 47-year-old man from Kenya. My partner and I have been together for three years and are planning to buy a flat.
The son who she had with her ex seems to have been brainwashed by his dad into saying some horribly racist things about me.
He’s getting married soon. It’s distressing and causing serious problems between us all.
It’s my partner’s ex who’s laying down the law over the wedding. I know other guests will wonder where I am.
I’ve suggested to my partner I’ll book a week away as an excuse for me not being there, but I worry about other family events in the future.
I expect because of their attitude I won’t be invited.
My partner wants her son and his wife to visit us but so far they have avoided the invitation and I know his father is behind this.
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DEIDRE SAYS: They are sadly unlikely to change their views. Avoiding the wedding is probably best, when it’s the marrying couple’s day, but you’ll need to have a frank and serious talk with your partner after.
Be really clear that you expect her son to respect you and to behave appropriately especially under your own roof.
Suggest to her son that you want the two of you to get to know each other.
Away from his dad’s influence, I hope he’ll rethink his opinion.
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