TOASTING New Year with her family and friends, Anna Roberts raised her glass of elderflower cordial with a smile.
Though she was surrounded by Prosecco and lager, she’d never felt happier to be sober.
For 2025 marks a third year free from alcohol for the mum of two – an addiction which almost killed her.
Anna, 29, from Rhondda, South Wales, says: “People associate the festive season with alcohol, and so I was prepared for the challenge.
“But I had a lovely time, it was very relaxed and though I had the odd craving, it passed very quickly.
“I feel really proud that I’ve managed another year sober.”
Struggling to cope with post-natal depression after the birth of her first baby, Anna, mum to Ewan, ten, and Evie, eight, began using alcohol to self-medicate.
She began secretly drinking, falling into debt, worrying her husband would leave and her children would be taken away. She developed such serious spasms that doctors suspected she had Multiple Sclerosis.
When her illness was at its worst, Anna was drinking three bottles of a wine a day, equivalent to 126 small glasses a week, and hiding her empties in the garden.
But after Christmas 2021, Anna bravely asked for help, and following a detox that same summer, she has been celebrating being sober ever since.
Anna, from Ferndale, Rhondda, says: “I am speaking out about my addiction to help other people.
“There is still a stigma and a shame attached to alcoholism but it’s an illness like anything else, and it’s a killer.
“I felt so lonely and isolated when I had post-natal depression, I felt like it was all my fault, and drinking seemed like the solution.
“It’s so important to get the right help and support. I feel lucky to be alive, and each day sober is a blessing for me.
“Christmas and New Year can be especially difficult because there is that pressure to drink. I find it best to be open and honest; if people know why I’m not drinking, then they are supportive.
“I spent so long living a lie.”
Anna, a full-time mum, was only ever a social drinker until the birth of her son, Ewan, ten years ago. She suffered from post-natal depression and battled intrusive thoughts.
She says: “I worried all the time about dropping the baby or him coming to harm somehow, and my anxiety really spiralled.
“I was wary of getting help in case I was seen as an unfit mother.
“When I finally saw my GP, I was referred to social services, which just added to my anxiety.
“I felt as though I was being punished for seeking support. The social worker was lovely and after one visit, they said I needed help for post-natal depression.
“But by then, I was already drinking, just one or two glasses a night, to settle my nerves. I found drinking really helped and I saw it as self-medication.”
Anna and her husband, Richard, now 34, welcomed Evie two years later, and Anna’s drinking and anxiety remained under control.
But by 2019, she was struggling once again.
She says: “I had bad OCD, I had to get dressed in a certain order, I had to eat certain foods and swallow a certain number of times.
“There was always the fear that my children would be harmed if I broke the cycle.
“My drinking got worse, to cope with my stress, and then in lockdown, I was drinking during the day. It seemed socially acceptable but after lockdown ended, I just couldn’t stop.
“I went from drinking two bottles of wine a week to three and a half bottles a day. I’d wake up and have a glass of wine, as though it was medicine.”
Anna says that she found ways to hide her drinking from her husband.
“I was very secretive; I’d get up early and go to the shop for wine, before my husband was awake,” she says.
“There are only two shops in our village, and I didn’t want to arouse suspicion, so I’d buy a bottle bag, with the wine, and pretend it was a gift for someone else.
“I found an app where I could order online and hide the payments from Richard. I’d stack the bottles up in the crockery cupboard and then hide them down the garden until recycling day.
“Even though I chose fairly cheap wine, I was spending £15 a day so I got into debt quickly. But I was in complete denial.
“I told myself I was masking it really well, and that my children were not at any risk. I thought nobody suspected a thing.
“One night I went for a drink with my mum-in-law, and I’d had nearly three bottles before I even left the house.
Early signs of alcohol dependency include . . .
“I fell into the road and a car had to swerve, and she really lost it with me. She begged me to get help.”
By Christmas 2021, Anna was suffering tremors and spasms and was unable to walk very far. Her speech was also affected, and she had twitching in her face and limbs.
Her GP sent her for neurological tests believing she may have MS.
She says: “The scans came back clear but the hospital staff asked me how much I was drinking.
“It was a wake-up call. I was desperate; I realised I couldn’t go on as I was. I felt suicidal at times.
I used to think alcohol was a way of coping with my problems, but it just made them so much worse
Anna Roberts
“People kept asking me what was wrong, and I just couldn’t be honest with them.”
In August 2022, Anna was admitted for a residential detox programme.
She says: “I was really scared by it. But I knew I had to do it; to save my family, my marriage, and my own life.
“It was also very liberating to be able to tell people, actually, I have a problem with alcohol. Saying it out loud relieves so much of the anxiety and the burden.”
Anna’s advice to others contemplating Dry January is not to approach the task with too many expectations.
She says: “Anyone with alcohol dependency needs medical advice.
“If you’re not alcohol dependent, just take it one day at a time and don’t put pressure on yourself. Remind yourself why you’re doing it and try and fit in some exercise and meditation as well.
“All over Christmas, I was with family and friends who know why I don’t drink, so the pressure wasn’t as bad.
“If I had a craving, and I needed to leave, then that was fine.
“My advice to myself is breathe, focus, and put my wellbeing first. I used to think alcohol was a way of coping with my problems, but it just made them so much worse.
“I feel like a new person now. Richard has given up drinking in support. I’ve put on three stones, I’ve joined a gym, I have so much more energy and self-esteem.
“I enjoy long walks and I’ve even taken up tap dancing. My skin and hair look better, my eyes have their sparkle back.
“I’ve also been diagnosed with autism, which I feel was at the root of my anxiety. It all started with post-natal depression and I hope other mums will learn to push for support, so they don’t spiral, as I did.
“If I can help one other person, then I will feel very proud. I’m on a journey, I know it’s a life-long battle, but also know I can do it. Dry January could be the perfect starting point for you too.”
