I recently received the following letter that inspired this week’s column. Here it is.
“I am an 87-year-old woman, gray-haired and using a cane since walking has become a chore as I have aged. I don’t get out often, just once a week or so, to the grocery store, bank, drug store or to a restaurant. Yet, each time I am out, shuffling along, someone is always there to open a door or help me up a step … strangers who are so kind. I am so thankful for that help. It always brings a smile to my face. I wonder if people know how much these small acts of kindness are appreciated.” S.J.
This letter is about the value of small acts of kindness and what it means to the recipient. Yet there is the other side to the equation. That is the benefit to those extending these acts.
The American Psychological Association defines kindness as a “benevolent and helpful action intentionally directed toward another person.” The motivation to be kind is to help others rather than gain a reward or avoid punishment.
Kindness has played a role in the evolution of our species, according to Dacher Keltner, author of “Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life” (W. W. Norton & Company, 2009) In an interview with Scientific American, he notes we have evolved with “remarkable tendencies toward kindness, play, generosity, reverence and self-sacrifice which are vital to the classic tasks of evolution — survival, gene replication and smooth functioning groups.” Kindness has helped us evolve and survive.
Helping others has numerous health benefits according to AARP and other researchers. For our purposes, we are looking at benefits to older adults as the “kindness givers.” AARP identifies six acts of kindness — large or small — that can improve your physical health.
Makes you happier: Kindness extended to a group or another person boosts some hormones. One of them is oxytocin, which gives us a feeling of warm fuzziness and contentment. It’s often called the “feel good hormone.” Another hormone that is stimulated by acts of kindness is serotonin which decreases feelings of anxiety and increases feelings of happiness. Then there are endorphins which are the body’s natural pain killers, often felt as a runner’s high after a good run.
Lowers blood pressure: In addition to making us feel good, oxytocin helps to maintain a healthy blood pressure, lowers chances of a heart attack and stroke and reduces risks of dementia. Contributing money counts as an act of kindness. Researchers found that spending money on others lowered the blood pressure of older adults in their study. This effect was comparable to the impact of antihypertensive medications or exercise, improving health for at-risk older adults.
Improves heart health: One of the factors that compromises heart health is fat around one’s belly. A 2016 review of a national survey indicated those who volunteered as an expression of kindness had less belly fat, lowering the risk of heart disease. “Acts of kindness are cardioprotective,” notes Dr. Marcie Hal from University Hospitals Cleveland Medical Center as quoted in the AARP article.
Strengthens the immune system: Inflammation is a protective response by the body’s immune system. It is how the body normally reacts to injury, disease or infection from bacteria or viruses. The acute response is needed for healing. The problem is chronic inflammation is believed to accelerate the aging process and contribute to various health conditions. Oxytocin reduces inflammation. Just letting someone go ahead of us in a grocery line, sharing a smile or buying someone a cup of coffee can boost our immune system, which can lead to greater resilience and less anxiety or depression.
Makes the brain bigger: As part of normal or usual aging, the hippocampus part of our brain tends to shrink. That part of the brain is responsible for learning and memory. Volunteering was found to delay that process as discovered in a study of participants in the Baltimore’s Experience Corps. They are retired men and women who volunteered to mentor young schoolchildren over a two-year period. “We saw a steady improvement or maintenance of the hippocampus in the volunteers; the controls showed the expected age-related decline,” says Michelle Carlson, a professor in the Department of Mental Health in the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, as quoted in the AARP article. Note everyone is unique in response to this change.
Helps you live longer: Acts of kindness reduce cortisol, the basic stress hormone in our body. Cortisol inspires the fight-or-flight response when facing danger. Too much cortisol for too long a period can be harmful. Research has found this hormone can alter the immune system, put pressure on the heart and affect the brain. Engaging in acts of kindness is a partial remedy.
In this holiday season, let’s be aware of the opportunities to extend acts of kindness, knowing we are enhancing the lives of others…and ourselves. Happy holidays, wishing you a year of health, peace, joy…and of course, kindness.
Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity
