As is my tradition, when the year comes to an end, I look back at where we’ve been, you and I, at the adventures and misadventures, and pull from my lineup of moments that stand out, one per month. Last week, I shared my favorite highlights from the first six months of the year. Here are the rest:
In July, a reader cried: “Help! I want my house back!” When Maureen Rabazinski, a 62-year-old nurse practitioner, thought it was safe to downsize from her large family home, she and her husband moved to their “rightsized” four-bedroom oasis. Then her two adult sons took turns moving into the “guest” room during various life transitions. The three grandkids and their toys took over another bedroom — so much for a home gym — and somehow a crib landed in her home office, killing the professional vibe she was trying to maintain during telehealth appointments.
“I want to make our home just ours again and eliminate the feeling of overwhelming chaos,” she told me.
Lesson: The two words of advice I offered Rabazinski are ones we all can benefit from: boundaries and purpose. Every home needs boundaries and every room needs one clearly defined purpose, no more. As nice as it is to offer a port in a storm, limit stays and don’t become anyone’s storage facility. Eliminate bleed over. The primary bedroom should not be an exercise room. The office should not double as a nursery. The guest room should not become someone’s permanent apartment.
In August, I was planning my third wedding in eight years: not all mine, thank goodness. The first was mine. Two years ago, my older daughter got married in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Now, my younger daughter was getting married. Though we’ve been lucky in love, my girls and I, it’s been an expensive decade. I’m not the only one dealing with sticker shock. According to the Wedding Report, the price tab for the average U.S. wedding last year was more than $30,000.
Lesson: Because no one wants to begrudge a bride of all the trappings that will create a memorable wedding day, I found dozens of ways to save hundreds, even thousands of dollars by cutting costs in imperceptible ways. Here’s a sampling: Keep the guest list tight. Have the ceremony and reception in the same place. Go with large blooms of in-season flowers. Pass on the champagne toast; have guests raise the drink they have in hand to cheer the newlyweds. Say no to favors. No one needs more stuff. And get your cake from the grocery store.
In September, thanks to the kindness of strangers, one deserving family achieved the American dream of homeownership. Maynor and Leticia Aldana moved out of their apartment, which had sewage leaking into the kitchen, and into a newly renovated house in Northfield, Minnesota. Their monthly mortgage payment is now less than they were paying in rent. The Aldanas, who immigrated here — she from Mexico 16 years ago, and he from Guatemala 33 years ago — are legal residents and hard workers. He hangs drywall. She’s a seamstress.
“Like so many laborers around us who mow our lawns and clean our homes, the Aldanas lived just a notch above homeless,” said Bob Thacker, who spearheaded the project. “These folks don’t have a path to homeownership.”
With the help of their local Habitat for Humanity, Thacker and his wife bought a dilapidated 1,200-square-foot townhouse. Then more than 100 local residents — framers, carpenters, plumbers, electricians, designers and master gardeners — volunteered time and materials and worked alongside the Aldanas to renovate the home.
Lesson: Never underestimate the power of a community that has a goal, or the power of people and how much they want to help.
In October, I saw what happens when a world-class design firm, with a soft spot for helping those with disabilities, and a leading furniture retailer join forces. The result: quietly accessible furniture. Recognizing that age isn’t easy on us but that the right furniture can make it easier, and help prevent falls, Michael Graves Design and Pottery Barn launched a furniture line that looks like it belongs in a home not a rehab center. Dressers have raised edges to keep items from falling off. Chairs have high-density foam and adjustable seat heights, giving a welcome boost to those who struggle getting out of chairs too soft or too low.
Lesson: More than three-fourths of those over age 50 say they want to age in place. Thankfully, furniture is becoming available that looks residential, not medical or institutional, allowing them to do just that.
In November, we met the Heirloomist. Shana Novak is a talented photographer who makes it her business to capture special keepsakes on film and “make something seemingly ordinary feel magical.” Ticket stubs, keys, pregnancy sticks, a faded airline boarding pass, Teddy bears, worn-out work boots and muddy slobbered-on tennis balls are among the ordinary but dear items Novak has dignified through photography and in her new book “The Heirloomist — 100 Treasures and the Stories They Tell” (Chronicle Books).
Lesson: Most of us think an heirloom is a cherished valuable relic from an ancient relative, but an heirloom can be anything, expensive or humble, as long as it tells your story, a story you want to keep alive for generations.
In December, I started breathing easier and sneezing less after I investigated ways to bust the fur flying around my home and other unwelcome evidence of our two dogs — including their, ahem, aroma. Initially skeptical of home air purifiers, because you have to believe in what you can’t see, namely that they eliminate 99.7% of invisible toxins in our air, such as pollen, dust, dander, mold, viruses, bacteria and odors from cooking, tobacco smoke and pets, I was dubious. But as I saw independent studies, including ones from the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, supporting the claims, I got a portable air purifier, and became a believer.
Lesson: Take care of your air. While this and many other home design columns focus on how homes look, just as — or even more — important may be how our homes smell. Here’s to clearing the air and cleaner living in 2025!
Marni Jameson is the award-winning author of seven books including “Rightsize Today to Create Your Best Life Tomorrow,” “What to Do With Everything You Own to Leave the Legacy You Want,” and “Downsizing the Family Home.” You may reach her at marni@marnijameson.com.
