Online dating as a gay man has its share of horror stories. It's also a rite of passage dating back to the Craigslist m4m era. It's a high-risk, high-reward activity.
For members of the LGBTQ+ community, online dating presents a unique set of challenges, which can sour the experience. Ghosting and catfishing are still common, but you might also find people asking unnecessary questions about your past, straight guys who shouldn't be in your feed, and even some not-so-subtle fetishization. Not exactly the butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling we're all after, right?
Yet, despite the BS, the best gay dating apps have helped millions of men make meaningful connections.
According to the Pew Research Center, about one-quarter of LGBTQ+ adults say they met their match through online dating. The problem? Not all dating apps are created equal, especially for LGBTQ+ users.
We can't talk about the gay dating scene in the 21st century without talking about Grindr, the undisputed king of gay dating mobile apps. However, there are a lot of other options, especially if you want to make a genuine connection.
"Grindr is a tried and true app that many queer men gravitate toward to find partners or for relationships that require lesser commitment, so it’s easy to point to it as the #1 app," Michelle Herzog, LMFT, AASECT-certified sex therapist, tells Mashable. "However, like Tinder, it’s gained a reputation as a hookup app — but that doesn’t mean there still aren’t men looking for long-term commitments, either." Lately, Grindr users have been complaining about a buggier app experience and free features going behind paywalls. So, even if you don't quit Grindr for good, it might be time to test other gay dating apps.
The most popular dating apps have a lot to offer, and that's where you'll find the most queer users. Keeping Tinder on the back burner isn't just a straight people thing (especially for guys in less-populated areas where apps like Scruff offer slim pickings). Plus, mainstream apps deserve credit for trying to create a more inclusive atmosphere. OkCupid gets kudos for embracing change and making inclusivity a core part of its compatibility scoring. You can also try niche gay dating sites if you tend to like a certain type of man, but in general, the more popular apps offer the greatest chance of success — it's a numbers game.
Whether you're looking for something serious, a hookup, something that stays strictly online, or an altogether different definition of connection, there's an ideal queer dating app out there for you. So, here's a breakdown of the best dating apps for gay men to help you find your perfect match.
