I know that socialising is good for us and is meant to be one of the best parts of the festive season, but I have to be honest with you: I can’t think of a worse time to face a chock-full social calendar.
Not only is the weather dark and rainy, but I’m constantly bloated from the endless festive treats, I have loads of little Christmassy tasks to complete, and ― like many of us in the UK ― seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is making my social anxiety even worse.
So, I thought I’d speak to Dr Suzanne Wylie, GP and medical adviser for IQdoctor, about how to manage the added stress.
“During Christmas, these feelings can become heightened due to the increased social interactions, family gatherings, and heightened expectations of being cheerful and sociable,” she told HuffPost UK.
“The pressure to perform in a festive environment, combined with the potential for awkward encounters or family tensions, can make people with social anxiety feel overwhelmed and vulnerable,” she added.
Here are her 10 tips for making the period more manageable:
1. Plan ahead
“Preparation can alleviate much of the stress associated with social events,” Dr Wylie shared.
She adds that it’s a good idea to set boundaries and say “no” to events you know you’re going to hate.
“Familiarise yourself with the location and attendees of each event, and mentally rehearse conversations or scenarios that might arise,” she shared.“Knowing what to expect helps reduce uncertainty, a common trigger for social anxiety.”
2. Practise mindfulness
Deep breathing and grounding exercises might sound a little woo-woo, but the GP says they can really help.
“Before entering a social situation, spend a few minutes focusing on your breath or anchoring yourself in the present moment,” she advised.
“These exercises calm the nervous system, making it easier to engage with others.”
3. Take small steps
Ever let “current you” burden “future you” with endless engagements, only to realise to your horror that those are actually the same person?
Well, the doctor says what I wish I’d heard years ago; there’s no point stacking your calendar if you’re not usually interested in socialising too much.
“Start with smaller, low-pressure gatherings to build confidence,” she recommends.
“If large family events feel daunting, consider arriving early when there are fewer people, allowing you to acclimatise before the crowd grows.”
And don’t downplay your achievements: “Celebrating small victories, like initiating a conversation, can build momentum for bigger challenges,” the GP says.
4. Use a social buffer
A supportive friend or family member can make all the difference, Dr Wylie says.
“Alternatively, having a “safe zone” in mind, such as a quiet room, gives you a retreat when needed,” she told HuffPost UK.
5. Set realistic expectations
If you’re not a fan of the limelight, there’s no point pretending to be a social butterfly, the GP stated.
“Don’t pressure yourself to be the life of the party. Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel anxious and remind yourself that most people are too focused on their own experiences to scrutinise yours,” she commented.
“Giving yourself permission to be imperfect can lessen self-critical thoughts.”
6. Practise active listening
“If initiating conversation feels challenging, focus on listening,” Dr Wiley stated.
“Asking open-ended questions “can take the pressure off you and foster genuine connections, often reducing social anxiety.”
7. Limit alcohol and caffeine
You might think that that shot of Bourbon is your only possible path through your work Christmas ’do, but the GP advises against it.
“While alcohol may seem like a quick fix for nerves, overindulgence can worsen anxiety and impair judgment,” she said; “Similarly, caffeine can heighten symptoms like a racing heart.”
Dr Wiley says plain ol’ water might lead to less stress in the long run.
8. Use positive visualisation
Manifesting isn’t just for six-bedroom homes and a glizty job, the GP says.
“Spend time imagining yourself navigating social situations successfully. Picture yourself smiling, feeling at ease, and enjoying interactions,” she told us.
“This mental rehearsal can build confidence and counteract negative anticipations.”
9. Leverage technology
If you’re really dreading that meet-up, the doctor says you can set up a video call or online get-together instead.
“Video calls or group chats provide a way to stay connected without the intensity of face-to-face interactions,” she shared.
10. Seek Professional Support
If you’re seriously struggling, the doctor says speaking to a pro might be necessary.
“Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and other evidence-based approaches can equip you with tools to manage anxiety more effectively, ensuring you enjoy the festive season,” she told HuffPost UK.
She added that some signs you may need professional help include:
- Avoiding all social situations, leading to isolation.
- Persistent distress that doesn’t improve with self-help measures.
- Physical symptoms, like panic attacks, that feel unmanageable.
- A sense of hopelessness or a negative impact on mental health overall.
Help and support:
- Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
- Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI - this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
- CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
- The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
- Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.
