Once again, as December comes to an end, my job looks more like that of a chicken sexer than that of a columnist. Fortunately, I don’t have to dig into the underbelly of every idiot, but simply observe them from afar. I spot them instantly from any distance. Here is my 2024 list of Idiot of the Year Award nominees that I am honored to share once again with my friends and readers of The American Spectator.
Mitch McConnell, Silkworm
That friend you would never invite to your birthday party.
Leonardo DiCaprio
You know your career is bottoming out when every day you look more and more like the Titanic and less and less like its movie.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Model
I’ve found that she looks a lot better, when she’s on TV, if you substitute her voice for an ACDC record.
Pedro Sánchez, Brothel Doorman
The apprentice dictator who is ruining my country is surrounded by corruption cases. We no longer have any doubt that in all cases there is a common secret “x”: him.
Ursula von der Leyen, Friend of the Wolves
Last year, von der Leyen’s pony, Dolly, was fatally attacked by wolves, and von der Leyen then decided to change the wolf protection law she pushed through in the EU. Nothing has been the same for Dolly since the attack, yet von der Leyen is still just as much of an idiot.
Whoopi Goldberg, Tourist in Her Own Country
All her life she has been threatening to leave the United States if Donald Trump wins the election. What’s the problem, North Korea is waiting for you!
Joe Biden, Ventriloquist
El Cid, the legendary Spanish knight, is said to have won his last battle after his death. The opposite is said of Biden.
Claudia Sheinbaum, Illiterate
Sheinbaum, that woman whose last name sounds like when a balloon you were blowing up slips out of your hands, has faithfully followed the example of her infinite stupid predecessor.
Taylor Swift, Girlfriend of I Don’t Know Who
How can being so beautiful be so ugly?
Enmanuel Macron, Pupil of His Wife
The typical Frenchman who is delighted to meet himself. But the rest of us are not.
George Stephanopoulos of the Synchronized Opinion Team
He has a last name that is impossible to pronounce out loud without breaking a tooth or having a stroke. Otherwise, he has never been a journalist, just a partisan.
Ali Khamenei, Bearded Butcher
For some strange reason, everything that is wrong in the world goes through his beards.
Kamala Harris, Lady Who Laughs Loud
She made everyone believe that she was going to win the election and then did not even receive the votes of her own family. Later, she fled, but not without her flask of whiskey.
Diosdado Cabello, the Evil
Almost every year Maduro appears on this list. It’s not that the dictator hasn’t made merits this year, but every once in a while I feel that we should also give the second-tier idiots a chance.
Bill Gates, Blue Screen
We will always be grateful to him for his discreet support of Harris with a succulent donation. Harris has as much of a future as Gates’ vegetable meat.
Greta Thunberg, the Girl Behind the Banner
Maybe it’s time for her to resume her education. She doesn’t look like she made the most of it the first time around.
Paul Krugman, Tarot Futurist
Our favorite economist-comedian is sad because this year he has been wrong again in his electoral forecast, and that is not news, but the fact that Trump won has him imprisoned in melancholy. He has left the NYT, now he just needs to abandon stupidity.
Antonio Guterres, Friend of All My Enemies
The infamous warmed-up guy has been looking like he’s about to go on maternity leave lately.
Have I forgotten anyone? I’m sure I did. Let me know in the comments or on my X account @itxudiaz. I will personally review each case and submit it to the National Idiot Screening Committee (NISC).
READ MORE from Itxu Diaz:
Krugman’s Farewell Blues in the Times
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