Here’s a curated list of Christmas movie pairings, giving you two films per day to enjoy with friends or family. Some are classic holiday staples, while others might surprise you as unexpected Christmas gems.
Start December off with two underrated Christmas movies that you may not have seen. Dennis Leary and Vince Vaughn probably aren’t at the top of your holiday watch list, but you should give them both a chance. It’s Christmas, the time to forgive Vince Vaughn for The Internship.
I would watch Steve Martin reenacting the story of an old man returning a lawnmower to Wal-Mart, but even with my bias, Mixed Nuts is a wonderful movie. Top that off with Babes in Toyland, and suddenly you’ve forgotten all about your Uncle Steve’s weird new girlfriend who keeps smelling all the doorknobs.
Nothing lights my Yule log like watching Bruce Willis and pre-racial tirade Mel Gibson taking out terrorists. For the record, I still have no idea what a Yule log is and honestly I don’t want to know.
This one could get confusing. Be sure to get the 1991 version of All I Want for Christmas starring a young Ethan Embry and not the weird Hallmark channel version that came out in 2007. Also, be sure Holiday Inn is the one starring Bing Crosby, and not the Chingy song.
You can start with Cary Grant and Loretta Young or Denzel and Whitney. Either way, you really can’t go wrong. Great, now I’m crying, and I think I have to go watch The Bodyguard.
It may seem like an unlikely combination, but there is no possible way you can watch Gremlins AND Ernest Saves Christmas in one day and not have rays of sunshine shooting out of every part of your body. It’s like the cinematic version of a piggyback ride from an actual bear who is house-trained and good with children.
If you haven’t seen Unaccompanied Minors, it’s surprisingly good! If you haven’t seen I’ll Be Home for Christmas, you probably weren’t a teenage girl in 1998 because it stars Jonathan Taylor Thomas and that story just kind of writes itself.
Even if you absolutely hate Christmas like some sort of swamp monster, you can’t hate Charlie Brown and The Muppets, right?
I would suggest watching The Polar Express first and then Arthur Christmas. That way the terrifying CGI from The Polar Express won’t be fresh in your mind, and you won’t have nightmares of that Tom Hanks character who looked like a melted candle.
If you say anything bad about Scrooged, I will never forgive you. I love that movie more than some of my relatives (Looking at you, Aunt Pam), and of course, Trading Places is incredible. What a great day!
You can watch whichever version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas you want, but I prefer the original cartoon because I can’t see Jim Carrey’s face without thinking about that creepy video he made for Emma Watson. No thanks, Ace Ventura.
Spend your December 12th watching Ryan Reynolds sing All-4-One in a fat suit and braces and Sandra Bullock in a story that’s only sweet because the music is light and whimsical. She’s basically a crazy person in that movie.
Everyone loves Bad Santa, but critics loathed Surviving Christmas so much. I’m not saying it’s a classic Christmas movie, but it’s not THAT bad. It’s like Domino’s Pizza; obviously no one loves Domino’s, but at least it’s not one of those skin flaps from Little Caesars called a Hot ‘n Ready.
I’m sorry to suggest a double dose of Nicolas Cage during the holiday season, but he’s incredibly tame in Trapped in Paradise, and shockingly enough, you might just enjoy him in The Family Man. Even if you don’t, Don Cheadle is on there, and no one dislikes him. It’s like hating smiles.
If I had to choose between Tim Allen and Sam Elliott for who I wanted to save my Christmas, I’m going Sam Elliott every time. Can you imagine seeing Sam Elliott riding through the sky on a single reindeer throwing down packs of Marlboro Lights to all the boys and girls, no matter if they were good or bad? I can.
Hey, remember how sweet and romantic the movies were yesterday? No more of that! Today everyone is getting stalked and/or murdered. I hope it goes without saying, but I’m referring to the 1974 original version of Black Christmas, not the one with Gretchen Wieners in it.
Why not spend the evening enjoying Kevin McCallister fighting off criminals after being abandoned by his family on numerous occasions? Merry Christmas everyone!
Here’s a couple more movies you may not realize take place during the Christmas season, but thankfully they do! Danny DeVito as The Penguin is even creepier when you pretend it’s Frank Reynolds from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia after his life has completely fallen apart.
Call your nana and tell her to come over for movie day. Take her to Bob Evans if she’s a sweet old lady, or if she’s like my grandma, take her to TGI Fridays for some Jack Daniels ribs and a series of rum-based drinks.
I don’t think it’s officially Christmas until you watch Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye dance in White Christmas. The Nativity Story is delightful, but if you’re offended by it, don’t watch it. Just don’t yell at me for suggesting it. Go watch Iron Man 3 or something instead. If Iron Man 3 offends you, go stare at a tree stump in your yard for two hours and stop being such a grump.
Make some of those Christmas decorations where you string popcorn and toss it onto your tree while you watch some of the finest Claymation outside of the California Raisins. If you have a window that won’t close in your house, don’t use those decorations. Birds will infest your home and, after eating all the popcorn, they will demand you go buy more popcorn. It’s a living hell.
These are the Christmas movies I watch with my family every year. Watching Buddy the Elf completely embrace Christmas followed by watching Clark Griswold slowly fall apart on a human level as he desperately clings to a thread of holiday cheer is the best thing you can do on Christmas Eve.
