Save Your Paragraph Text: If He Wanted To, He Would Have

You’ve had it. I know. You’ve been putting up with a bare minimum man for weeks or maybe even months and you are finally beginning to realize your worth and what you deserve.

You are exhausted from begging him for the basics. You are tired of settling for less-than. You’re done waiting around. You’re over the excuses. And, mostly, you’re really fucking pissed at yourself that you let things go on the way they have, for as long as they have. You’re ready to stand up for yourself. You’ve had enough.

So you whip out your phone and begin to type. You don’t hold back. You’re listing everything he’s done wrong, every way he’s fallen short, and why you’re done with him and the relationship you carried on your back.

But if you’re being truly honest with yourself, there’s also a small part of you that thinks this message will show him that you won’t put up with how things are any longer and that he’ll change his behavior as a result. You’re hoping this text will cause him to wake up and treat you the way you both know you deserve.

Here’s the truth: He’s not going to change. Because if he wanted to give you more than the bare minimum, if he wanted to put effort into your relationship, if he wanted to make you feel valued and beautiful and heard, he would. And he isn’t.

Everything is information. The things men say (and don’t say), the things men do (and fail to do). And if he’s acting like he doesn’t care, it’s because he doesn’t. If he isn’t treating you the way you deserve, it is because he does not feel the need to do so. This is not someone you want to be with.

Take off the rose-colored glasses. Because once you see him for who he is, it will be impossible to unsee. And you will finally be able to let go.

Now, I understand wanting to stick up for yourself. I get wanting to let him know you see what he’s doing and you’re not going to settle for it any longer. But sometimes the most impactful message is saying nothing at all. Let him draw his own conclusions. Don’t waste your breath on men who only waste your time. Let his punishment be the fact you moved on.

Save that text for the notes app. It’s where it belongs.