TULISA Contostavlos has described the harrowing moment she was sexually assaulted after having her drink spiked.
The devastating incident happened when she was just 16 and out with a group of friends.
The I’m a Celebrity star opened up on Paul C Brunson’s Safe Space podcast, describing the horrific chain of events with searing honesty.
She said: “I was out with a group of boys from my area who I’d known for years, was friends with, and I remember seeing one of them, they had something in their drink, and it was fizzing, and I instantly thought, oh God.”
The N-Dubz singer said that she became fearful due to her “super sensitive” reaction to drugs.
She continued: “They’re taking drugs. What are you putting in there? And I looked to him, and I was like, please, please, please don’t put anything in my drink.”
“I was like, I’m super sensitive, because at the time I’d started having like, fits off the back of just weed. So I was like, I can’t take any drug. Like, please, please don’t put any drugs in my drink. Like, and he was like, no, no.”
The 36-year-old recalled blacking out before being assaulted.
She said: “I remembered feeling like, what is going on? And then next thing, you know, I just remember flashes of being in a car and just seeing the lights, the street lights.”
“So I must have been lying back, and I just remember open my eyes for a second, seeing street lights, street lights, street lights, and then, obviously, waking up in a room, and then, yeah, the rest is history.”
Emotional Tulisa described how the attack has left her wanting revenge.
She said: “I think I probably would have attacked him, so I wouldn’t have been able to report it is the truth. Probably would have punished the crap out of him and not wanting to report it, because I would have got in trouble.”
While it’s not uncommon for victims of sexual assault to question if they were somehow to blame, Tulisa said that is not something she has done.
“To this day, I’m not someone when I feel hurt or backed in a corner, goes to self-blame. I blamed him through and through. Didn’t look at one bit of my action and think what could I have done differently? That is all him.”
Elsewhere in the interview, Tulisa opened up about her past romance with N-Dubz bandmate Fazer, calling him her “safe space” whom she still loves “to this day.”
Fazer, whose real name is Richard Rawson, starred in the hip hop band alongside Tulisa and her cousin Dappy.
The trio found fame in the late 2000s with hit songs including, Playing with Fire, Number 1 and I Need You.
During those heady years in the band, Tulisa and Fazer were in a relationship which she now reveals, helped her to cope with the pressures of fame.
She said: “My safe space was Fazer, like my safety blanket.
“He was the person that loved me, he was the only person that deserved it, because that is real. That’s real to this day.
“We love each other like family. It doesn’t matter if it’s not romantic anymore.
“That’s my family, that’s my soul family and the person that I’ve become doesn’t want anyone in my life other than my soul family, especially not when it comes to intimacy.
“He’s the only person, looking back, that means something now.”
When asked why the relationship fizzled out, Tulisa replied that their 2012 split was “inevitable” after they found themselves to be “incompatible.”
After her time as a pop star, Tulisa went onto to appear as a judge on the X Factor and played a key role in putting together the chart topping band, Little Mix in 2011.
But after the 2012 release of her album, The Female Boss, Tulisa retreated from the limelight as she revealed she struggled with the constant media intrusion.
This year she made a triumphant return to the spotlight starring in I’m a Celebrity get me out of year where she made headlines after revealing herself to be “demisexual”, which is someone who is unable to form a sexual connection with a person, without the presence of a strong emotional bond.
Drink spiking is a deliberate act. Public perception is that it is limited to slipping drugs into an alcoholic drink, however, drink spiking can include:
Drinks are most commonly spiked with alcohol.
Alcohol and other drugs typically used in drink spiking incidents often have sedative effects. This means you might feel like passing out, have trouble controlling your body, experience blackout or memory loss, and can result in becoming unconscious.
