Great news for anyone who's ever wanted to watch Mariah Carey shoot John Cena and Rick from Ricky And Morty in the head with a sniper rifle, before absolutely soaking herself in Slurp Juice: The musical superstar has reportedly been added to online video game shooter Fortnite.
See, the functionally unkillable video game is gearing up for the holiday season, and Carey has the most functionally unkillable Christmas song of all time in the form of "All I Want For Christmas Is You," so… Yeah. According to IGN, Carey's addition to the game was revealed by a prominent Fortnite leaker, who took a break from writing "prominent Fortnite leaker" on their resumé in order to let people know that Carey would soon show up in the game to hand out gifts, build rickety towers, and, in at least some instances, burn Ariana Grande and Goku alive with Molotov cocktails. She will reportedly emerge from a giant block of ice that's recently been added to the Fortnite map, apparently as a reference to a video Carey released last year that showed her being thawed out of an ice block as soon as Halloween is over so that she can launch her annual hostile takeover of radio stations and shopping mall P.A.s.
As we've alluded to above, Carey is only the latest real-world star to lend their likeness to the online game—which once had a whole island just for Weezer, just like in our dream journals—and so her virtual self will be able to rub shoulders with (and fire bullets into) many of her fellow luminaries, such as Billie Eilish, Lady Gaga, and Mr. Beast. They're also supposedly putting Skibidi Toilet into the game. Do you like that, children? Will Mariah Carey and Skibidi Toilet get you to stop pouring all your parents' money down the Roblox hole? Fortnite: Still relevant, it swears.
