Courtesy of Adam England
While dating, my girlfriend and I lived in different cities. We met on X — we started following each other back in 2021 and began speaking more frequently after she offered to give me some comments for an article I was writing the following year. Our first date was in January 2023, and we made things official in March.
For the first year and a half of our relationship, we had a gap of over 100 miles — seen as fairly long-distance in the UK, particularly if neither of you drives. The frequent trains and buses can be stressful and take up a lot of time.
My girlfriend had been living in London for almost seven years, first as a student and then as a graduate, and she wanted something different. I'd lived in a few different cities and liked the idea of moving somewhere else for the longer term.
Her lease expired in August 2024, while mine was on a rolling monthly contract, so we explored the prospect of moving in together.
While London is a great city, it's very expensive; even though there are so many things to do, it's difficult to afford them. Other cities I've lived in, like Southampton, Cardiff, and Bath, are all great in their own ways, but there's often either not much going on, or they have less desirable transport links.
We settled on Manchester, still one of the UK's biggest cities but in the north of the country, which tends to be more affordable. So, there's still plenty to do, and we're also more likely to have the money to actually do it.
We looked at a few different apartments, and found a development in walkable distance to the city center for shops and amenities. Not living in London, we were able to get a two-bedroom apartment and use one as an office — I work from home full-time, while my girlfriend goes into the office once or twice a week.
The extra space has been a major benefit because it makes it so that we aren't always under each other's feet. And self-employed life can get lonely, so I like having my girlfriend here during the workday, even if we're both busy and aren't talking much during the day.
Moving to another city together means that you're both in the same boat and dealing with the same stress of moving — one isn't uprooting their life for the other. And when it comes to things like finding friends, we've been in the same position, and have hung out with people both as a couple and alone.
It's been exciting to explore the city together, too. While we'd both been to Manchester before, neither of us really knew our way around. Together, we've been able to explore a wide range of exciting bars, pubs, cafes, and restaurants, not needing to rely on one of us to act like a tour guide for the other.
An additional perk is the proximity to family. My girlfriend's parents live about an hour's drive away, so it's been nice for her to be closer to them after so long in London, while it's also easier to get to my family.
One of the first things we did when moving was adopt two cats. Moving somewhere new has meant that we aren't seeing friends as much as we might have before, but the added company of the cats has helped us adjust — and given us something to focus on together. Though going out in our new city is fun, the cats can make a quiet evening in so much more entertaining.
