Sometimes, a person being overly transparent can be well received; other times, it's an immediate red flag.
Listen to this woman's dating story and decide. How would you would have reacted to the same information and level of intimate detail?
In a viral video with more than 1.1 million views, TikToker Charlotte Hancey (@charlotte.shares) recounted her dating experience with a local professor.
Hancey explained that she matched with a professor on a dating app. She added that he was the first older man she'd matched with. She is 44, and the professor is 51.
Hancey said she tends to date men around her age or a bit younger, but the age difference didn't matter to her too much since he seemed "really nice."
"We immediately had really great conversation," Hancey said. "...he was a great communicator, I cannot stress that enough and I was super attracted to that."
After talking for three days straight, they made a plan to go on a date. Hancey planned to drive up to his town for dinner.
But a few hours before the date, the man told Hancey that something had come up that would likely affect their plans and he wanted to lave the decision up to her whether she still wanted to continue as planned.
He explained that he was with a woman the day before. She'd just let him know she tested positive for chlamydia.
Hancey told him that she'd prefer to cancel. She said he should take the time to go to the doctor and get cleared up first.
"The empathetic part of me then said to him, 'I'm really sorry that happened to you. That sucks, sorry you were exposed to that,'" Hancey recounts.
For some reason, that opened up a whole can of worms.
He then went into greater detail, telling Hancey that the "woman" was actually a 19-year-old college girl—that's a 32-year age difference plus a significant power imbalance given his status as faculty. It wasn't clear if it was the same college, however.
He adds that she "really wanted to come over and try out my machine," which he said made her finish eight times.
"I was immediately disgusted ... that he's telling these young, vulnerable college girls that are around him, 'Why don't you come to my house? I have a machine that you can try out.'"
Hancey didn't even respond to him, instead choosing to block him on everything.
"On paper, in his pictures, he looked like the most normal dude ever that you would never in a million years think that they had that at their house," Hancey added.
"Would you believe that same man had the audacity to swipe right on me again?"
Generally, professors are not supposed to date their students because of the inherent power imbalance that exists in the relationship (similar to a boss dating a person they manage or a doctor and a patient).
A 2014 study found that 84% of universities in the United States had rules addressing this type of relationship, the New York Times reported. And these rules date back to at least the 1980s in response to the feminist movement of the '70s.
Some schools specify that this relationship is inappropriate between a student and a professor whose class they're in.
Others, like Yale, Harvard, Stanford, Columbia, and Duke, have strengthened their policies to cover all relationships between faculty and undergraduates.
"This is the moment you regret him being a great communicator," a top comment read.
"I am soooo tired of dating these days. I’ll just be sitting under my heating blanket eating junk food and being happy….by myself," a person said.
@charlotte.shares Replying to @Kay Brock990 Ok here’s a dating app story that I’ll never forget unfortunately! It’s crazy out there be careful ladies! #datingstorytime #datingappsbelike #datingover40 #singlelife???????? ♬ original sound - Charlotte Hancey
"I think he got off telling u," another theorized.
The Daily Dot reached out to Hancey for comment via email and Instagram direct message.
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The post ‘He was a great communicator’: Woman matches with 51-year-old college professor. Then he reveals who he’s been dating appeared first on The Daily Dot.
