DUBAI, United Arab Emirates – The late American actor Robin Williams once said that the saddest people always try their best to make others happy because “they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.”
Thirty-six-year-old Patrick John E. Ascaño, a fixture in the Dubai Filipino community’s stand-up comedy scene, couldn’t relate more. Ascaño experienced being bullied in school for being “fat and gay,” and grew up selling fermented fish paste, where he’d be up at dawn, to support himself through college.
“Yes. Totoo po iyan. Kaming mga komidyante ay mas malalim na pinagdaraanang anxieties at hindi po namin ipinapakita sa tao ang kalungkutang iyon,” said Ascaño, who, with his eye-catching hairstyle, goes by the stage name “Dumbo.”
(Yes. That’s true. We comedians go through deeper anxieties but we don’t show that sadness to people.)
“Masaya akong nakikita ang mga tao na sa bawat pagpasok nila at paglabas sa bar ay may ngiti silang baon galing samin. Nagagamit ko ang aking mga karanasan noon sa buhay at ito ay naiku-kwento sa stage in a comic way. Akala nila joke lang, pero totoo naman talaga,” added Ascaño, who regularly performs at a hotel pub in Deira, Dubai.
(I am happy to see people come and go from the bar with smiles on their faces. I am able tell stories about what I’ve been through in life in a comic way. The audience thought it was just a joke, but it actually happened.)
Ascaño said making fun of sad experiences relieves the soul.
“Ang katotohanan sa buhay natin, kapag ginawa nating katatawanan, nawawala ang galit sa puso natin, hirap, pagod at maiiisip na ito ay isa na lang kwento (Making a joke about the truths in our lives removes the angst, pain and weariness from our heart such that these just become small stories),” he said.
(Making a joke about the truths in our lives removes the angst, pain and weariness from our heart such that these just become small stories.)
Born and raised in Cavite, Ascaño, eldest of four siblings, joined his mother selling fruits and vegetables at a public market in Zapote when he was 11 and in grade school.
It was during these early years that he was exposed to the harsh realities of life.
“Nung high school, nakaranas ako ng pambu-bully dahil sa mataba ako at bakla ako. Naranasan ko na umiyak at masaktan ang damdamin,” he said. (I experienced being bullied and body-shamed in high school because I am gay and was fat. It broke my heart and I cried.)
At the public market, authorities would confiscate what they were selling because they did not have proper papers. “Nakiki-pwesto lang kami. Kitang kita ko ang luha ng nanay ko kapag inaagaw ang paninda namin (We were just sharing a space. I would see my mother in tears whenever they took away our merchandise),” he said.
Ascaño would later on join his auntie who was a vendor in the same public market. He would work his way through college at Imus Business and Technological College (IBTC) where he graduated with a degree in hotel and restaurant management.
Those were tough days indeed for Ascaño.
“Habang ako po ay nagtitinda ng bagoong sa palengke, ginagamit ko ang sahod ko para sa aking pambaon at pambili ng mga projects sa school. Iniipon ko rin para pandagdag sa aking tuition. Gigising ako ng 2 am matatapos ako ng 6 am. Tapos papasok ako sa school ng 8 am,” recalls Ascaño.
(I was able to earn selling fermented fish paste and used the money for my school meal and projects. I’d also save for my tuition. I’d get up at 2 am and would be done selling by 6 am, then I’d go to school at 8 am.)
That routine didn’t change much while he was in college and, at the same time, performing at comedy bars to support himself.“ Matatapos akong magtinda ng six ng gabi. Papasok ako sa comedy bar ng 9 pm hanggang 3 am,” he said. (I’d be done selling anchovies by 6pm. I’d start work at the comedy bar by 9pm and will be there till 3am.)
Ascaño came to Dubai in 2012 after being selected by a booking agent. He worked at a Filipino club.
It was during a stint that he met a co-performer with whom love blossomed.
“Bilang part ng LGBT community, nagpapasalamat ako dahil sa di ko inaasahang pagkakataon ay may isang babae ng tumanggap sa’kin at nagmahal. Ngayon ay meron na kaming isang anak na lalaki. Masasabi kong nagkaroon ng liwanag at kulay ang aking buhay,” Ascaño said.
(Being part of the LGBT community, I am thankful that a woman accepted me. She loves me and we now have a son. I can say my life is shining bright with colors.)
He said no serious courtship happened between him and his wife, Mariz, 34.
“Sa pagkakaibigan namin ay may nabuong pagmamahalan dahil naging komportable na kami sa isa’t isa. Naramdaman namin na okay kami sa isa’t isa. At dito sa Dubai, nakabuo kami ng sarili naming pamilya,” he said. The couple has a five-year-old son.
(Our friendship blossomed to love because we were comfortable with each other. We felt we’re okay together. We are now raising a family here in Dubai.)
Asked how it is to be a gay father, Ascaño said: “Hindi ko naman na po maia-alis ang gender orientation ko po na ganito. Pero dini-disiplina ko na po ang sarili ko para sa aking mag-ina. Dahil ngayon masasabi ko naman po na wala na akong hahanapin pa sa buhay ko.”
(I can not redefine my gender orientation. But I discipline myself for the sake of my wife and son. Because, I now couldn’t ask for more in my life.)
“Ang pagiging gay ko po ay nagsisimbulo na lang ng pagiging masayahin na tao at nagagamit ko sa pakiki-salamuha ko sa mga tao at aking trabaho,” he added. (My being gay will just be a representation of myself being a jolly person in dealing with people as my job requires.) – Rappler.com
