DEAR DEIDRE: I’M livening up my dull married life by having affairs with a couple of sexy men.
Unfortunately, they are both with their wives and sometimes I really struggle to control my jealousy about their marriages.
I’m 36. I’ve been married for 12 years and we have two young children.
I met my husband when I was on the rebound from an abusive ex.
At first, his easygoing nature was a welcome relief. Now, it bores me to tears.
We only have sex if I initiate it. He does the same moves every time, like a Nineties boyband on a reunion tour.
In frustration, I started flirting with a man at my local garage.
He claimed his wife had a low sex drive, so I sent him naughty snaps showing him how passionate a real woman could be.
He loved them but after booking a night in a hotel for us a couple of times, I feel that he’s fobbing me off.
The last time he said he couldn’t make it because it was his wife’s birthday.
That hurt, so I joined a website for married people wanting no-strings sex.
Soon, I was chatting to a man who was exactly my type, with tattoos and a beard.
We exchanged numbers and started sending each other nude pics and explicit voice notes.
But when I found his social media, I saw him liking and commenting on his wife’s posts every day, sending her heart emojis.
They always seem to be out on romantic dinners, and even wore a matching couple’s costume for Halloween. What’s wrong with me?
Why am I just never good enough to be number one?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You are chasing attention from every corner, but ignoring those who love you closest to home.
Stop chasing men who are only after sex and talk to the man in front of you. The one you are married to.
Tell him honestly what you need – in bed and out. Together, you can build a secure, sexy marriage but you have to open up to him first.
You can shake things up in the bedroom with your husband.
Start sending him sexy messages then why not plan a night away together?
You have been in an abusive relationship which is damaging for self-esteem.
Getting attention from these men may have helped you feel better about yourself in the short-term but, in reality, these affairs will simply damage your confidence further.
My support pack Raising Self-esteem explains more.
Do the right thing. Cut off the affairs and work on your marriage so you can feel good about your future.
My support pack How To Look After Your Relationship will give you solid ideas on how to get started.
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
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