A key component of sitcoms is often the romantic angle, which draws out the “will they or won’t they” trope across several seasons. It might seem like a silly cliché, but it’s a great way to keep viewers hooked because everyone loves a happy ending.
That’s why we all followed along as Sam and Diane (Cheers), Ross and Rachel (Friends), Ted and Robin (How I Met Your Mother), and Leonard and Penny (The Big Bang Theory) dated, broke up, dated again, and in some cases (supposedly) lived happily ever after.
But if one takes a closer look at these relationships, a horrible toxic trend is present in each one. While some are worse than others, the themes include controlling boyfriends, emotional manipulation, threats of physical violence, and pushy insistency that borders on harassment. Pointing them out is by no means a way to trash romance and love. It is simply the twisted way the concept of what constitutes a relationship has been portrayed on screen.
The relationship between Sam Malone (Ted Danson) and Diane Chambers (Shelley Long) is arguably one of the most tumultuous romances in television history. Their dynamic is the central focus of Cheers, with the series taking advantage of the old “opposites attract” saying. Sam, the owner of the titular bar, is a former professional baseball player, serial dater, and recovering alcoholic. Diane Chambers is a down on-her-luck, sophisticated, yet pretentious woman who ends up working as a waitress at Cheers.
Their relationship is a mix of attraction and antagonism. Diane mocks Sam for his low intellect, while he thinks of her as a buzz kill. However, their most troubling interaction takes place in the Season 2 finale when, during their first breakup, Sam slaps Diane. When she asks if he regrets his actions, he says the only thing he regrets is that he didn’t hit her harder. Diane leaves but is manipulated into returning in Season 3 when Sam starts drinking again. The violent threat is written off as normal. (Yikes!)
Ross and Rachel’s relationship on Friends kept viewers hooked throughout its 10-season run. The story arc sees the “nice guy” finally get together with the girl he’s been in love with since high school. The only problem is that Ross wasn’t actually a good guy. When Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) admits her feelings for him in a Season 2 episode called “The One With the List,” he uses a set of pros and cons to decide whether he should date her. The cons include stuff like “kind of ditzy,” “too into her looks,” and “just a waitress.”
When she finds it, Ross (David Schwimmer) tells her to make a list about him, but Rachel refuses. Ross’s jealous side came to the fore when Rachel’s fashion job brought her closer to a male co-worker. As a result, Ross began showing up at her place of work with food and gifts. Their arguments about Mark culminate in a fight, during which they agree to take a break. Believing they had broken up, Ross has a one-night stand, which, despite being a despicable thing to do, becomes a running gag on the show.
How I Met Your Mother presented viewers with a unique take on the way love stories are told. The title was actually a fake-out since the show wasn’t really about Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor) meeting his wife, Tracy McConnell (Cristin Milioti). Instead, the story was a tool for the main character to tell his kids that he has always been in love with Robin Scherbatsky (Cobie Smulders). The odd choice actually made perfect sense since Ted became obsessed with Robin from the moment he met her.
Although Robin made it perfectly clear that they’re not compatible in the long term, Ted refuses to let go. Despite having several serious relationships throughout the series, Robin remains his sole focus. The pair continues an on-off relationship, which eventually ends when Ted meets Tracy. When she dies of an unspecified illness, he goes right back to Robin. While the finale attempts to sell the obsession as romantic, it’s actually super creepy and extremely troubling.
Leonard (Johnny Galecki) and Penny’s relationship in The Big Bang Theory contained several troubling dynamics. From the moment they met, the awkward nerdy guy made it clear that he would do anything for the object of his affection. As a result, Penny always held the upper hand in the relationship and decided when they dated or when it was over. Leonard, portrayed as meek and insecure, struggled to assert himself, and often came across as overly dependent on her approval.
But Leonard was not the only wounded party. As the series progressed, he would often lord his intelligence over Penny (Kaley Cuoco) and even took it upon himself to secretly rewrite her college history paper on slavery in an episode titled “The Extract Obliteration.” The most manipulative stunt Leonard ever pulled came after they were married when he decided to serve as a sperm donor. When Penny questions his choice, he tries to rationalize his betrayal by saying it is a chance to leave behind a living legacy. (Gross!)
