MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — In preparation for his anticipated role as the next Secretary of Defense, Fox and Friends Weekend host and former National Guard Maj. Pete Hegseth is reviewing Department of Defense policies he believes must be maintained, scrapped, or overhauled.
One persistent issue in the U.S. military is the threat of sexual assault and harassment among service members. Drawing on the Army’s Sexual Harassment-Assault Response Program (SHARP), a proactive program implemented by the Army in 2005, Hegseth and his team have outlined plans for a new, Department of Defense-wide program they call ‘$HARP.’
According to Hegseth, the 2025 Pay Harassers and Assault Reporters Plenty program will institute a policy to protect drunken service members — particularly men — who find themselves being lured in by wicked temptresses and vixens to engage in rough sex the men don’t consent to, only to see those treacherous women filing superfluous and fake police reports later.
The policy will also provide male service members with the financial and legal means to pay their accusers and get them to sign non-disclosure agreements to keep their filthy mouths shut about events that were totally consensual.
“This program will go a long way to protecting vulnerable male soldiers, Marines, airmen, and sailors from the clutches of money-grubbing sirens,” said Col. Keith O’Brien, a Hegseth transition team representative.
While traditional sexual harassment and assault prevention programs have focused on viewing women as the more likely victims in these situations, $HARP hopes to refocus efforts in a more meaningful way to protect drunken men, the true victims of such crimes.
“Under the Woke Mind Virus, there was a shared understanding that sexual assault victims were ‘innocent’ women,” said O’Brien. “But with $HARP, we want to ensure there is ample protection for the most defenseless among us – male servicemembers. In particular, those who have been drinking and hold some level of rank. We’re talking senior officers, field grade officers, and senior NCOs.”
The initiative is personal for Hegseth, who was a victim himself.
In 2017, Hegseth was in Monterey, California, when a female staffer allegedly blocked him from scoring with two women and took him to his room, where they hooked up totally consensually. The woman later filed a frivolous police report and had a totally unnecessary rape kit done.
“Probably because she had buyer’s remorse or something. So typical,” said a source close to Hegseth. Afterward, Hegseth was forced to pay the woman and get an NDA signed to keep his job with Fox News. However, the proposed $HARP program would protect men like Hegseth from becoming victims twice.
Supporters of the $HARP program include singer R. Kelly, former Fox host Bill O’Reilly, movie producer Harvey Weinstein, and comedian Louis C.K.
Paul J. O’Leary is a retired Army First Sergeant who enjoys recreational axe throwing and writing and survives on way more coffee and social media than he’d care to
