For you, kindness is not a perk, it is absolutely vital and a necessity. Respect is a baseline. Anything less than this is unacceptable. Because of this, you’re no longer impressed by a someone being “nice” because you now understand that he should be nice. Now you look for the extras, the bonus traits that you want in a partner and that actually add something of value to your life.
In other words, you’re focusing on you and you alone. You’ve become totally obsessed with personal growth and becoming the best version of yourself. As a result, you’re no longer interested in spending time with people who don’t encourage and nurture that growth, especially someone you’d be involved with romantically. This may mean spending more time solo but you’re okay with that.
You limit who has access to you and, most importantly, when. You no longer drop everything to answer your texts, especially from people who offer you less than you deserve.
The rose-colored glasses have come off and you have stopped making excuses for bare minimum partners who never even asked you to make those excuses in the first place. Now you see them as they actually are, not who you wish they could be. When they act like they don’t care enough, you realize that they don’t and respond accordingly.
And not because you’re not getting asked out. It’s because you’re incredibly mindful about how you spend your time and with who. On that note…
You say what you actually want, not what you think someone wants to hear. When you do go on dates, you say that you’re looking for something serious because you’re looking for something serious. You’re over playing it cool because you realize that won’t get you the things you need and deserve. Now you’re up front. You’re real. You’re you.
And finally, you no longer apologize for having standards for what you’re looking for in a partner. Instead, you embrace the things you’re seeking and refuse to settle for anything less.
