THERE are a lot of stereotypes surrounding young mums, and nobody knows them better than Phoebe Tomlinson.
The blogger, model, and younger sister of One Direction’s Louis shared her experiences with trolls after having her daughter at 19.
Now 20, Phoebe appeared on the Made By Mammas podcast to discuss her life as a young mum.
She welcome daughter Olive with her partner Jack Varley in January 2024.
Phoebe discussed how she and the footballer had intentionally tried for a baby despite people telling them they were ruining their lives.
“I just always wanted a baby young,” explained the influencer, who turned 20 four months after giving birth.
“I knew I wanted to be a mum as soon as the situation was right so when I met my partner I said: ‘Let’s do it’ and he said: ‘OK.’
“He’s older, if he was even 20 I wouldn’t have wanted to, he’s 27 so I thought: ‘You’re fine, you can handle it.’”
She joked that her partner likely didn’t expect her to want to start a family so soon but described him as “the best dad ever.”
Speaking about her lifelong desire to become a mum, Phoebe said: “My family is so maternal, obviously, there’s seven of us, my mum was such a mum’s mum.”
She revealed how the arrival of her younger siblings, twins Ernest and Doris, spurred on her dream.
“They came along I was 10 and I was just like their little mum,” she recalled.
“I just wanted to be their mum basically and as I got older, I just wanted to have my own.”
Phoebe, who is also a twin, joked about how she and her sister Daisy would “have one each” when minding their little brother and sister.
“I just loved it, it was amazing, you are able to make yourself their little mum.”
And after her mum Johannah tragically passed in 2016, Phoebe, then aged 12, pitched in even more to help with the little ones.
“[I] made them dinner and fed them and put them in the bath, I’d feel like a little mum,” she said.
Former One Direction star Louis Tomlinson comes from a big family, he is the oldest of seven siblings.
“I think that was why I wanted a baby so soon because I thought: ‘I love this.’”
So when she fell pregnant after just weeks of trying, it was no surprise to those close to her.
“They saw it coming but it was really weird because I feel like most 19-year-olds would be a bit apprehensive about telling their family, especially their dad,” Phoebe said.
“I was just so excited to tell everyone because I knew they’d just get it, it’s just been in me, and it was really cute telling them.”
However, not everyone was so supportive of Phoebe and Jack’s family addition.
“I posted my little announcement video, which I really loved, I kind of expected backlash because you always do when you post something big but the comments weren’t that nice,” she recalled.
It was really bad, I’m really thick-skinned but when I posted the announcement video I remember saying to my boyfriend: ‘I might take it down.’”
Phoebe Tomlinson
“The expected ones like ‘What are you doing?’ and ‘You’ve ruined your life.’
“It was really bad, I’m really thick-skinned or I thought I was but when I posted the announcement video I remember saying to my boyfriend: ‘I might take it down.’”
However, Jack talked her out of the decision, pointing out how majority of the comments were “so lovely.”
While Phoebe has waited until she was 12 weeks along to make the announcement, she still didn’t show for “quite a bit.”
Once she had developed a “little bump” she began receiving a fresh wave of online hate.
“I was still working with an underwear brand at the time so I’d posted my last picture for them and I had a little bump,” she explained.
When you’re young because people doubt you more and obviously, being in the limelight, that was heightened for me.
Phoebe Tomlinson
“Everyone was like: ‘She can’t put clothes on? Surely now she’s pregnant she can put some clothes on.’”
Despite this, Phoebe revealed that she “loved having a bump” and said she would “get it out a lot.”
She went on to say that people found whatever reason they could to shame her.
“When you’re young because people doubt you more and obviously, being in the limelight, that was heightened for me,” Phoebe said.
“I feel like people look at you and think: ‘She looks young,’ even now I’ve got Olive.”
However, she explained that she has learned to ignore the haters and focus on advice from her loved ones.
“They don’t mean it in a nasty way, don’t take it as judgement, they just want to help,” she said.
