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When Taylor Swift's Eras Tour started, my daughter had just turned 13. Typically, teenage girls pull away from their mothers, declaring as much independence as possible, and my daughter was no exception. After all, she already had a full life full of friends and sports apart from me. Even though she lived in the same house, I missed her. Then, Swift burst into our lives. It was spectacular.
Like much of America (and the world), my daughter was desperate to see the Eras Tour. With each show she live-streamed, her desire grew and grew. She eventually asked for my help getting the impossible-to-find tickets. We searched together for weeks. It wasn't the bonding experience I would have chosen, but texts from my daughter morphed from brief three-letter responses like "OMG" to coded messages using Swift's lyrics that only we understood. She even started saying "Thank you" and "I love you." My smile could have it up the whole town.
When kind relatives unbelievably gifted my daughter tickets to the Philadelphia show, we spent time together making friendship bracelets, shopping for outfits, and listening to Swift on repeat. Just as my daughter was pulling away, we suddenly had a reason to spend more time together — all of it joyful.
Jamie Davis Smith
When we finally saw Swift in May 2023, my daughter was bubbly and talkative. We arrived hours before the show began to take it all in. It had been years since we spent that much uninterrupted time together and I savored every moment. The show itself was, of course, incredible. But while most of the audience was watching Swift, I was watching my daughter. I teared up when Swift described how music brought her closer to her own mother. When we left, I told my daughter, "I had the best day with you."
After the show, lyrics spanning all of Swift's eras morphed their way out of text messages and into everyday parlance. We often told a younger sibling, "You need to calm down." We told each other, "By the way, I'm going out tonight," while a secret grin passed between us.
Experiencing the Eras Tour with my daughter was so transformative that I wanted to do it again, and so did she. I had my chance when I got tickets to a show in Warsaw a year in advance. Traveling halfway around the world for a concert seemed like a wild move. Nevertheless, I jumped in and committed myself fully, wanting to extend the magic Swift created between my daughter and me for as long as possible.
That year was a gift, one that allowed me to continue to share a bond with my daughter as I morphed into almost as big as Swiftie as she is. We used the opportunity to plan a trip of a lifetime through Europe, in a fever dream high. We continued watching live streams of Swift's shows together and made more friendship bracelets. My daughter quizzed me on Swift's discography and I got pretty good at answering her questions.
As I learned more about Swift, I discovered she was a great role model. Swift embodied many lessons I wanted my daughter to learn, lessons she may not be open to hearing from me but would gladly take in from an idol.
We talked about how Swift boldly stood up for herself time and time again. She was not quiet when she was sexually assaulted. She rerecoded most of her albums when her label sold her original recordings over her objections. She was not afraid to speak up about politicians she opposed, even though those around her advised her to keep her head down. Swift confronts sexism and ageism boldly. She does not seem to settle when it comes to love. She is creative and savvy in business. Most of all, she appears to love her mother deeply. These are all lessons I want my daughter to take to heart as she grows. Swift was the person who opened the door to allow me to talk about these life lessons with my daughter. For that, I will be forever grateful.
I wish the Eras Tour would last forever, but I know it has to end. As we prepare to say goodbye to Taylor Swift for now, I will remember to be open to sharing my children's interests. I will say yes more often, even when a plan seems outlandish. I will look for more opportunities to create magic with my children. I will remember that these things are possible, no matter how old they get.
My daughter and I have plans to watch a live stream of the Eras Tour one last time when Swift takes her final bow on December 8th. Thank you, Taylor, for the incredible gift of the Eras Tour. But I am especially grateful for the gift of togetherness you gave to my daughter and me.
Long live the Eras Tour. I had the time of my life.
