For a clean freak, hosting even the most simple gathering at your home can have the makings of a nightmare. Each guest brings with them a new opportunity for stains, crumbs, and general disarray to build in your otherwise pristine home.
And yet, if you put so much effort into keeping your home in pristine shape, isn’t it natural to want to invite your loved ones over to enjoy the fruits of your labor? “As a ‘clean freak’ myself, and from an etiquette standpoint, I actually believe that having a clean house for guests is great etiquette and shows a nice level of respect toward your guests (and also, yourself!),” says modern-etiquette coach Maggie Oldham. “Presenting your home in the best light means a clean and tidy home, and, furthermore, by presenting your home in the best light, you are implicitly communicating to your guests that you respect them and value their company!”
So, what do you do? How do you host your event and keep the nightmarish elements to a minimum? “Most importantly, remind yourself that some mess is inevitable, and that’s okay,” says Sunday Times best-selling author and creator of the Organised Mum Method Gemma Bray. “Reframe it as evidence of a lovely time spent with people you care about — it’s worth the temporary chaos!” She adds, “There is also a massive difference between a home that is untidy and one that is truly dirty and needs a good clean! A home can be untidy and clean at the same time. Mess is just a sign of life.”
That said, you don’t have to allow your home to explode into a total state of disorder. There are things you can do to ensure you’re enjoying yourself, being a gracious host, and maintaining some semblance of cleanliness throughout. Ariel Kaye, an entertaining and design expert and the founder of home-essentials brand Parachute, says that for her, “it’s all about setting up systems that allow me to enjoy the time with guests, not just clean up after it!” If you’re hoping to do exactly that, look no further. Find your complete expert-approved guide to having people over when you’re a clean freak below.
Do:
Clean Beforehand
“Hosting people when you’re naturally super tidy can feel stressful, but it doesn’t have to be! The key is to set yourself up for success before guests even arrive,” says Bray. “Start by decluttering the main areas where guests will gather, like the living room or kitchen (these are the engine rooms of most homes and where your guests will naturally gravitate toward). If you do a quick declutter before they arrive, any mess that happens will feel less overwhelming.”
Oldham echoes a similar sentiment, suggesting you focus your pre-party cleaning efforts primarily on the bathrooms, the kitchen, and the living area. “It doesn’t have to be a full ‘spring clean,’ but at the very minimum, make sure there is no trash on the counters or floors, questionable stains in the bathroom (gross!), and food waste on the kitchen counters or in the sink,” she explains.
Kaye suggests implementing a nightly cleanup routine to leave your home consistently event-ready. “I make it a habit to clean up before going to bed. This way, when I wake up, the house is already tidy and ready for the day,” she says. “I also try to get my kids involved with a little ‘cleanup song’ so they learn the importance of tidying up. If I keep up with cleaning at night, I’m not starting the day with a mess, and that makes hosting much easier.”
Plan Your Menu Accordingly
“Serve in a way that minimizes cleanup,” advises Myka Meier, founder of New York City–based Beaumont Etiquette. “Think ahead and plan to serve easy-to-eat finger foods, single-serve items, or dishes with less potential for mess. Use small trays or coasters to subtly encourage tidy habits without explicitly instructing your guests.”
Bray suggests a similar menu, explaining, “Speaking of food, stick to mess-minimizing options like skewers, finger foods, or individually portioned snacks. Serve them on easy-to-clean platters or trays, and use coasters or disposable napkins to keep furniture protected without fuss.”
Be Strategic With Your Dishware
“Consider using reusable glassware and plates,” says Oldham. “This greatly cuts down on the number of empty plastic cups, bottles, and cans lying around. Pour beverages into a reusable glass and serve food on reusable plates — guests are much more likely to reuse the same glass or plate, as opposed to leaving it on the side table and grabbing a new one.”
Establish Boundaries Within Your Home
“Guide guests to specific areas where you’re comfortable with a little chaos, like the kitchen or living room, rather than letting them wander freely. You can even steer them subtly by placing food and drinks in these zones,” says Bray. “Another great strategy is to designate a ‘no-go zone,’ like your bedroom or a home office. Knowing you have one untouched, pristine space to retreat to can make all the difference when the rest of the house feels busy.”
Make the Logistics Work in Your Favor
Factor cleanliness in when considering things like how long the party is going to be and how many people you’re going to invite. “Set yourself up for success by keeping the gathering relatively short,” says Bray. “A casual brunch or coffee catch-up will naturally create less mess than an all-night affair, and it’s easier to manage the cleanup afterward.”
She also suggests keeping the gathering on the smaller side. “Keep this in mind: The more people that are in your house, the more mess there will be. It is housework math!”
Incorporate Some Visible Trash Receptacles
Of course, not every event you host can be small. For those larger ones, Oldham recommends utilizing trash receptacles. “If you’re hosting a party with a larger amount of guests, having some visible trash receptacles can greatly help reduce trash and clutter,” she says. “When guests can easily see and locate trash receptacles, they are much more likely to take care of their own empty plates and cups, instead of leaving them on the counter for the host to dispose of.”
Create a Designated Space for Guest Belongings
“One challenge with small spaces is where to put your guests’ things,” says Kaye. “To avoid clutter piling up, I always set up a dedicated space for their coats, bags, and shoes. If I don’t have a large coat closet, I use a stylish rack or hooks near the door. For smaller items like toiletries, I clear a shelf or cubby so guests feel settled, but also so things don’t pile up on countertops. It’s all about keeping things organized, especially in high-traffic areas.”
Use Low-Maintenance Textures and Materials
“In my home, I choose fabrics and materials that are easy to clean — like washable throws, slipcovers, and soft neutrals,” says Kaye. “These help create a cozy atmosphere but also hide small messes, like spilled drinks or crumbs. If something does get dirty, it’s simple to wipe down or throw in the wash, which takes the pressure off me during the event.”
Also Do — But Be Chill About It:
Plan Ahead for the Cleanup
“Keep cleaning supplies discreetly stashed but easily accessible,” says Bray. “Line your bins with extra bags so you can swap out full ones in seconds, and have cloths or wipes ready for quick spill emergencies. If it helps, tidy as you go — but subtly.”
Do Some Light (Light!) Cleaning Throughout the Party
More on that subtle-tidying thing. “It’s perfectly acceptable to wipe counters while guests are present once the main portion of the meal has concluded (even if it’s just standing hors d’oeuvre), or if there is a spill or mess,” says Oldham. “Refrain from doing any other type of cleaning, however. And especially, do not vacuum or mop while guests are present unless there is a giant mess that absolutely needs to be taken care of on the spot.”
Bray recommends working with the flow of your party to get some subtle cleaning done throughout. “Use natural pauses, like refilling drinks or grabbing more snacks, to whisk away empty glasses or wipe surfaces. Little efforts like this will help you stay calm without making your guests feel like they’re walking on eggshells.”
Nudge Guests to Remove Their Shoes (If You Want)
“I get the question — is it okay to ask people to take off shoes in your home? — all the time,” says Meier. “I think it is — it actually can be cultural or even religious. For me, we keep shoes off while casually in the house, except if we are hosting a cocktail or more formal dinner party, then shoes stay on, as it’s usually a part of the outfit!”
Rather than overtly demand your guests remove their shoes, Meier suggests more subtly giving them “cues” that you prepare ahead of time. “When guests arrive, have a small shoe basket or have shoes visibly lined up or on a shoe rack to show people ahead you have a shoeless household,” she suggests. “If you prefer a shoe-free home or have specific cleanliness preferences, consider offering cozy slippers for an added thoughtful touch. I buy black one-size-fits-all slip-ons in bulk from Amazon.”
As an added plus for your inner clean freak, Oldham notes, “Having a designated place for guests to store their shoes (like a bench) helps this feel a bit more dignified and organized.”
Don’t:
Be Too Hard on Yourself
Remember a party is supposed to be, above all else, enjoyable. Oldham says, “Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to present a clean house that you forget why you are entertaining in the first place!”
Forget to Prioritize Your Guests
“If you clean in front of guests, it instantly changes the tone and people feel less relaxed,” says Meier. “Guests are there to enjoy your company, not to witness you scrubbing surfaces. Once the party begins, shift your focus to them — etiquette is about prioritizing their comfort and enjoyment over perfection!”
Make Cleaning-Related Comments
Specifically, Meier instructs you to “avoid saying things like, ‘I just cleaned that!’ or ‘Please don’t spill.’” She explains, “It can make guests feel uncomfortable or overly cautious.”
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