I have landed dream job in USA and my husband is refusing to move with me

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been offered my dream job in the US, but my husband is refusing to move there.

We’ve only been married for a year and have a newborn son.

I don’t know if I should walk away from my marriage or give up on my career dreams.

I’m 35 and my husband is 39. We’ve been together for six years and he has always known I’m an ambitious woman.

When I was offered a job in Silicon ­Valley, with a brilliant salary and prospects, I was over the moon.

I thought he would be happy for me. Instead, his instant reaction was: “I’m not moving to America.”

He says the US is dangerous, that he doesn’t want to be far away from our family and friends.

I’ve asked if he’ll give it a go, just for a year, to see if it works out, but he won’t consider it. No compromise.

He knew I had applied for the job, and he seemed supportive. Now I think he was hoping I didn’t get it.

I’ll never get another opportunity like this again. It would set us up for life and it would be brilliant for our child too.

Part of me thinks I should just go, and take the baby with me.

But I don’t want to deprive her of her dad. I do love him but I’m angry and upset.

If I have to stay here in my boring job that’s going nowhere, in the grey weather, I’ll end up resenting him.

You should be proud of your achievement. It’s natural to want your husband to be happy for you too.

But before you make a life-altering decision to break up your family or turn down your dream job, talk to him again.

Perhaps he is scared of such a big change. Maybe he’s worried he won’t find a decent job there. He may also be feeling jealous of your success.

You can help and reassure him.

DEIDRE SAYS: Consider couple’s counselling, so you can talk about this in a safe space with the help of a professional.

See my support pack How Counselling Can Help, and set up an appointment with tavistockrelationships.org.