My son’s wife is stopping me from staying with them at Christmas

DEAR DEIDRE: MY son has told me I can’t stay with him and his wife in the run-up to Christmas Day again this year, as it was around this time three years ago that his wife’s sister died.

I know it isn’t a good time for her but I was upset as I missed out on seeing my lovely grandchildren.

I am a 60-year-old woman. My son and his wife live reasonably close to me. They have two sons who I adore.

I was invited to spend Christmas Day with them last year but not the few days beforehand.

It caused an argument so I ended up staying with my other son and missed out on seeing my grandkids the days before.

Again I have had another row with my son as he has said that his partner will say the same thing, that I can’t stay in the run-up to Christmas Day.

I am always available to have my grandchildren at the drop of a hat.

I want to know if I am being unreasonable.

DEIDRE SAYS: Grief can be more intense throughout the holiday season and despite the festivities, it can be a particularly hard time to miss someone.

I can see why you feel upset as, once again, you will not have the Christmas you would like, but try not to let it derail your relationship with your son and his wife.

Try to make the most of the invitation you have been given and arrange something else to look forward to in the days before Christmas.

Remember it’s only one day and your family’s enjoyment is the most important thing.

My support pack Worried About Christmas will help too.