Cat Cohen loves parties. The comedian, singer, and actor, best known for her Netflix special, The Twist … ? She’s Gorgeous, is obsessed with the protocols governing social events, as evidenced by the ten tracks off her debut album, Overdressed. The holiday-themed album features ten delightfully off-kilter tracks about the joys of attending office holiday parties (“Plus One”), taking group photos in slutty cocktail dresses (“Can You Send Me That”), and going home for Thanksgiving and telling your former high-school classmates about how you almost had an orgasm during a threesome (“Going-Out Top”). And though the album, like much of Cohen’s stand-up, teeters between the observational and the absurd (in the Eartha Kitt–inspired “Time of Year,” she fantasizes about burying a creep alive because he touched the small of her back at a party four years ago), it also considers the uniquely millennial dilemma of trying to have a good time while also telegraphing just how much of a good time you’re having on social media.
“The whole album is about documenting your events, or having fun versus proving that you’re trying to have fun, or publicly having fun,” Cohen says. “But I love documenting events too, so I’m part of the problem.”
In advance of the holiday season, the Cut caught up with Cohen to chat about the perfect Secret Santa gift, COVID parties, and magical Christmas memories of making your Sims Woo-Hoo on your family’s Dell computer.
Your song “Plus One” is about how you want to be a plus-one at an office holiday party. Do you actually like going to office holiday parties?
I’ve only worked in the basements of theaters, so as someone who’s never worked in a tall building with glass windows, I’ve always wondered about the glamor of being in a sort of opulent, 1980s–New York–office massive-holiday-party vibe. I have this antiquated idea of ’80s media — white tablecloth lunches, three martinis.
Do you have any rules for being a good plus-one?
You have to be able to separate and go off and make conversation with strangers, so you can’t cling to the person who invited you. No clinging. And either don’t drink too much or drink way too much so that it causes a scene and there’s a fun story for everyone else the next day.
What are your rules for drinking at a holiday party? That’s always a tough balance to strike.
I wish I knew how to follow any of my rules. I would say you never need more than three drinks, but sometimes you’re gonna have more and that’s okay. And if it’s not your office, you might as well go off and drink the free booze.
What if it’s not an open bar? Does that change the rule at all?
Oh, wow. That’s not really a party. Then you’re just going out to a bar, aren’t you? Like, come on.
You’d be surprised, especially in media, how few holiday parties are open bar these days.
I’m living in the past. I need to wake up.
What is the best and worst holiday party that you’ve ever been to?
The best holiday party was one I threw with my friend Mitra Jouhari when we lived in the same loft in Williamsburg and we took over the roof. We threw this comedy show up there, and everyone stayed super-late and got wild and it was just one of those magical, Girls-y parties. It was the kind of night you dream of when you’re a little girl being like, I’m gonna move to the big city and meet artists and have fun.
And the worst?
I won’t name what the event was, but I went to a holiday party where everyone got COVID. It was like you knew you were gonna get COVID when you walked in. There was a COVID vibe there.
What’s a COVID-party vibe?
The COVID vibe is like, it’s freezing outside, then you get inside and it’s humid, the floor is sticky, there’s fluorescent lights and the wine is being served out of thick plastic cups as opposed to a crisp glass. I was texting people three days later, “I don’t feel well,” and everyone was like, “Same.” You just knew it when you walked in.
You’re from Houston. What’s a Houston holiday party like?
The major difference is that in Houston, it’s usually about 80 degrees on Christmas. We’re always outside, no coats, and someone’s smoking a turkey or there’s lots of barbecue and tacos. One of my family members always orders a Dirty Miller Lite, which is a Miller Lite made with vodka and with olives. So that’s very Texas.
Do you have a favorite holiday movie?
I love The Holiday, obviously. I love Love, Actually. Bridget Jones’s Diary is my favorite rom-com ever. And there’s a Christmas element to that. When Colin Firth tells her she’s perfect just the way she is, and she’s running through the streets and there’s the snow falling — it’s so good.
How do you feel about Colin Firth’s character dying in the fourth movie?
Is that happening? Well, he’s the best part. So I’m absolutely devastated.
Do you have any rules for what does and doesn’t constitute polite holiday-party conversation?
Avoid too much talk about work and focus more on who’s kissing who tonight. That’s more fun.
You have a lyric on your album about how a good host doesn’t invite people only by group text. What’s the best way to send a party invitation?
I think email is the only proper way to do it, if not actual mail. If you just send by text and DM, it feels like they don’t really want you to be there. Whereas with Paperless Post, they roll out the red carpet when you click “open” and it’s really dramatic. That said, it’s really hard in this day and age to even know anyone’s email, so having thrown events myself, I know that I’ll often just fire off a flyer to a text and hope for the best.
Where do you stand on Partiful?
My worry is I feel like sometimes I’ll get them and I don’t even know who they’re from and it’s like a random number. I’ll get a text that’s like “four hours till this!” and I’m like, Wait, I don’t know what “this” is and I didn’t accept it. It’s a lot. And can I also just say, as a public-service announcement , and as someone who just threw a party for my special and my album: People need to learn how to RSVP. It’s rude not to. It’s disrespectful, and it wastes the hosts time and resources. People are so casual not RSVP’ing these days, and when they do, I’m like, “That’s beautiful. I have a new level of respect for you.” I just love Type A, I love Virgo, I love prompts. I love a GCal moment.
What’s your feeling about thank-you notes?
They’re so special. My mom is a real Texas gal, and I have not done her proud because I don’t always send thank-you notes, but I know how important it is and when I get them, I know how amazing it is. It’s also just the best feeling in the world to throw a party and the next day people being like, “That was such a blast. Thank you for having me.” I try and always do that kind of thing.
What is your rule for how to dress at a holiday party?
I don’t want to see any athleisure. I don’t want to see any leggings at events. A certain jean styled right is okay, but I’m seeing really crazy things, especially in L.A., where people are dressing worse than ever.
You have a song on your album called “Going-Out Top.” What’s your going-out look?
I love a minidress and knee-high boots, but everyone’s different. I wear a lot of Norma Kamali, and I love her because the designs are super-flattering and everything is super-stretchy so you can wear it no matter what size you wear, because I always fluctuate during the holidays. Also if you pack it, it doesn’t wrinkle.
Do you have a go-to holiday dish that you make?
I actually really love cooking. I cook a lot for my family when I’m home. I would say my go-to is the Marcella Hazan Bolognese, which is a classic because I love something that you can chop in the morning, then all day you smell it while you’re sitting around, hanging out, watching TV, and it’s getting richer and tangier and more delicious. It’s the best and it’s so easy, so I always tell people to make it.
What’s your go-to Secret Santa gift?
A few things: a set of really nice pens or colored Sharpies or colored pencils. Who doesn’t like that? That’s really fun. Little mini-jams or a fun hot sauce. I love a sauce. A friend just got me a fancy olive oil, which was lovely because I would never buy it for myself. Sending holiday gifts is the classiest thing you can do. My go-to gift, because I’m from Texas, has been the Goode Company pecan pie.
What’s the most memorable gift you’ve ever gotten?
This is so lame, but I’ll never forget when we got a Dell desktop for the family, and I would play Sims on it until it exploded. The Sims is so important to me. I tried to play during the pandemic, but it wasn’t hitting the same.
It’s too hard now. They’ve made too many options.
Too many expansion packs. When they added pets, I was like, Enough. Let’s just focus on the human interaction. Let’s focus on the WooHoo.
In your song “Blame It On the Moon,” you talk about going to past-life regression therapy. Did you actually do that?
Of course. During quarantine, I paid so many women hundreds of dollars to talk to me about myself in some spiritual capacity. I don’t know if I would do past-life regression again. It felt like my imagination coming up with things and her being like, “Yes, exactly.” But I’m always open to anything of that sort.
What were your past lives?
An old lady who couldn’t go to a ball unless she brought bread. That’s mentioned in the song. No. 2 was blonde Hagrid in Game of Thrones times, and I was protecting my family. And lastly, a classic: a nurse in a war, and the soldier I was tending to was my current boyfriend. And when I told him that, he was like, “That wasn’t me.”
How would he know if he hasn’t done past-life regression therapy?
That’s what I’ve been telling him.
This interview has been condensed and edited for length and clarity.
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