As our nation's elites hawk their overpriced skincare ranges and non-alcoholic liquor in the name of every capitalist's wet dream (aka Cyber Monday and Black Friday), I have a troubling announcement to make: Cheryl Hines has a beauty line. Not only does she have a beauty line, but she's now using her adulterous, previously worm-addled husband to sell it.
Over the weekend, Hines used her Instagram stories to push Hines + Young, her range of body cream, lip balm, and scented candles with messages like "Mi Amor" and "Beautiful You." If you're in need of a post-holiday giggle, I invite you to take a look at them here. The category is: Alibaba. Anyway. In a video that will surely haunt me for the rest of my days, Hines did her best QVC impersonation and presented the products in a bathroom...as Robert F. Kennedy Jr. showered in the background.
Cheryl Hines, the co-star of Curb Your Enthusiasm, promotes products from her health and beauty line for Black Friday, while her husband, the Secretary of Health and Human Services-designate, Robert Kennedy Jr., showers behind her. pic.twitter.com/UNeZg38jWr
— Yashar Ali ???? (@yashar) November 30, 2024
"No, you can't take a shower. I'm doing a video," Hines told her husband while pretending to chuckle at the feigned spontaneity of it all. "No, no. I'm doing...you've got to give me a second. I'm doing a video from Hines + Young. Honey," she continues. Hines captioned the video: "Oh Bobby." You can't tell me this whole thing wasn't his idea...
If the sight of Kennedy Jr.'s leathery skin doesn't put you off your Thanksgiving leftovers, Hines' acting absolutely will. She was good at playing a wife exasperated by her insufferable husband once, right? Unfortunately, it gets worse. On the next slide, Hines shares more products from Hines + Young — this time, a candle that reads: "Make America Healthy Again" (MAHA) on its lid. As we all know, Kennedy Jr. was recently selected by President-elect Donald Trump to lead the Department of Health and Human Services in a cabinet from hell. After news of his affair with Olivia Nuzzi became a public scandal, using your husband's naked body to sell your generic lotions is one thing, but using his slogan to sell a soy candle at 60% off is just sad.
Speaking of affair! In the immediate aftermath of the news, it seemed Hines was initially handling it the way I would hope any woman would: worm-less — and ring-less — at Milan Fashion Week. Encouraging reports that Hines was “no pushover” and that divorce was likely, also made the rounds. But in October, it seems there was a shift...perhaps after her husband was promised an appointment if Trump won? Not only was Hines by RFK Jr.’s side for his mother Ethyl’s memorial service, but the pair also just attended the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner together and looked…pretty damn cozy.
While Hines has been mostly silent on her husband’s “inappropriate relationship” with Nuzzi, she kind of addressed it on the red carpet at the Groundlings 50th Anniversary Event in Los Angeles in October.
“Lots of emotions with rumors!” Hines told Us Weekly.“But, it will all be in my book. I’m writing a book. I’ve been taking notes — serious notes!”
A forthcoming memoir and a beauty line...we are a country without shame.
