MARINE CORPS AIR GROUND COMBAT CENTER, Calif. — Commandant of the Marine Corps Gen. Eric M. Smith today honored Vice President-Elect J.D. Vance with a bronzed locker that he was regularly locked in while serving as a Marine.
“This really brings back a lot of great memories,” Vance told the regiment as he fondly patted the locker. “Every time I told people that I was too busy to help because I was a press correspondent, they never hesitated to remind me of what it means to be a part of the Marines.”
Vance served in the Marines from Sept. 22, 2003, to Sept. 21, 2007, with one deployment to Iraq. While hazing isn’t anything new to military life, many Marines who served with Vance are proud of the results.
“We did him a favor,” reminisced Frank Waltz, who served with Vance from 2005 to 2007. “He kept fucking up basic drills and gun maintenance, and his cammie paint looked like eyeliner. Whenever anyone would ask where he was, we told them he was busy doing ‘correspondent shit’ when he was really cleaning the inside of the locker. Now look at him!”
During his speech, Vance was interrupted mid-sentence when he was talking about his transition from Ohio State to Yale. Gen. Smith shoved Vance into the bronze locker, and some witnesses said they heard him mutter ‘Nerd’ while locking the door.
At press time, Smith had not given the order to release him. Trump campaign officials were putting together an action plan to rescue the Vice President-Elect before inauguration day. Four Privates have been assigned guard duty, one for each cardinal direction.
