DEAR DEIDRE: I’M having secret steamy sex with a rich married businessman, who has employed me as his overpaid cleaner.
He is almost 20 years older than me — and while it is thrilling, I feel appalled at my behaviour.
I am a 36-year-old divorced single mum of two children aged ten and eight.
I ended my marriage because my husband cheated on me multiple times.
My children are lovely but I am a teaching assistant, and spending almost all of my time with kids was sending me spare.
So I decided I needed a change and applied for a job as an administrator at a local company.
Unfortunately I didn’t get the job. I was so disappointed but then I got a call from the owner, who had interviewed me.
He is 56, married and old enough to be my dad.
He apologised for wasting my time interviewing me.
Apparently his assistant had already offered the job to someone else. He offered to buy me a drink.
We went to a pub and chatted but then he groped me when I got up.
Looking back I must have been feeling so lonely because he only needed to give me a little attention before we were all over each other.
He then offered me another job cleaning the flat where he stays during the week. It pays well, so I accepted his offer.
He’s often in the flat when I go to work and we always end up having sex.
I feel very used and abused by him but it is very exciting at the same time.
I know I should put a stop to it, as I’m going to get hurt, but I’m addicted to him.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband treated you shabbily and now this man is using you.
The control which you have over him when you are together makes you feel empowered, but in reality he is the one who is controlling you.
He is married and is offering you nothing emotionally.
All you get is grubby sex, presumably when it suits him.
Continue, and your self-esteem will plummet.
He may seem like the solution to your boredom but leaves you feeling used, which is typical of addiction.
Give him up and go cold turkey. Give up the job too when you find another one.
Build up a social life and find a man to respect and love you. My support packs on Raising Your Self-Esteem and Social Life For Single Parents will help.
