WHILE Nicolle Baker gets ready for Christmas this year with her partner and two little boys, the happy festive season will also serve as a painful reminder of what she’s lost.
Heartbreakingly, it will be the first Christmas without her much-loved mum Ruth Baker, 48, who was beaten and strangled to death by her partner earlier this year.
Remarkably, it was actually messages Ruth sent before her tragic death that helped convict George Chalmers, who initially denied murder.
One of her text messages revealed she had suffered previous violence at his hands, and in one message, she even ‘predicted’ her own death, saying: ‘next time, you could kill someone.’
Now, Ruth’s three children, Nicolle, 32, Josh, 29, and Leah, 18, have spoken for the first time, describing how their mother tried to hide the violence from them – and are urging others to speak out.
Learning support assistant Nicolle, who lives in Carlisle, Cumbria, with her partner Ricky, 33, a supervisor, their two boys aged 12 and four and sister Leah, says: “Nothing can bring Mum back, but we hope our tragedy can persuade other women, and men, in violent situations, to walk away.
“We appreciate how hard it is to leave a violent partner but it’s much harder to leave your children without a mother.
“We’re relieved Chalmers is behind bars, but we all feel we are the ones with the true life sentence.”
Ruth was just 16 when she had Nicolle and 19 when she had Josh by the same dad, before having Leah much later at 30 – and she adored being a young mum.
Nicolle says: “Mum was really young when she had me and Josh and she was pretty much always a single mum.
“There wasn’t a lot of money obviously but she always worked part-time as a cleaner, and she’d get paid on a Monday, so there would always be extra treats in the house that day.
“It must have been hard at times, but it never, ever came across like that to us and we had a really happy childhood.
“We lived really close to mum’s four sisters, so we were always hanging out with our cousins. We’d go to Saltburn a lot, so that’s where we scattered her ashes as we had so many fond memories there, exploring the caves and woodland.
“She loved music, and was a big fan of Kiss, Kate Bush and The Killers. She loved singing and dancing, even though she wasn’t very good at either!
“She always had our backs. She made sure we had everything we needed and she was really fiercely independent.
“She had boyfriends and dated, but no one important enough to be part of our lives until she met Leah’s dad, who is still around and they were together for a few years before they broke up.”
Ruth then had youngest daughter Leah when Nicolle was 14, and Nicolle later went to college and trained to be a teaching assistant.
When she moved out aged 20 after meeting partner Ricky and falling pregnant with her first son, she still spoke to her mum nearly every day.
Nicolle says: “She was so proud how work-orientated we all were, and was so excited to be a Nana for the first time – although she was 36 and she moaned she was too young for all that!
“She was a big part of her grandkid’s lives, and later she got a job at a homeless hostel which she absolutely loved as she always loved helping people.
“Because she didn’t have the best childhood she always wanted to make sure everyone else was looked after.”
Ruth began speaking to George Chalmers early last year.
Nicolle says: “I knew she’d been online dating and we’d chat and have a giggle about the bad dates she’d had or the idiots she’d met but she again always kept it very separate – she wouldn’t ever bring men home to meet us.
“I knew she’d met George in Blackpool for the first time, and they became ‘Facebook official’ in July.
“I only met him in passing but they seemed very compatible – I thought at the time he seemed like a male version of her. They were both very loud, and both from Yorkshire so they seemed to just bond.
“In hindsight it obviously wasn’t a good match and Leah wasn’t sure about him from the very beginning, but at the time they seemed good for each other – they seemed to bounce off each other.
“They didn’t move in with each other or anything because of Leah but they had lots of plans for the future, including getting married eventually and buying a B&B or food van and move to the Northeast.
“She seemed so happy with him. It had been a long time since she’d been in a relationship and it seemed to give her a real confidence boost.
“She was busy decorating her home, and she started running again, which she hadn’t for years. It was like she had a new lease of life.”
However unbeknown to Nicolle at the time, in November 2023 Chalmers attacked Ruth for the first time on what was supposed to be a romantic weekend away.
Nicolle says: “She had two black eyes and bruising all over her body, but knowing mam, who was notoriously accident prone, when she said she’d fallen off a table while redecorating, I believed her.
“At that point I had no reason not to.”
Tragically though Nicolle’s little sister Leah sussed out the truth – but was sworn to secrecy and made to promise she wouldn’t tell anyone, including her siblings.
Leah adds: “Mum claimed she’d had an accident, but I knew immediately, and I overheard her arguing with him on the phone about the attack.
“I pleaded with her to get some help and report him but she wouldn’t.
“It caused arguments between us; I felt she should leave him. I actually said to her: ‘Next time, he could…’ and she finished my sentence: ‘Yes, he could kill me’.”
Four months later Ruth went to spend Easter weekend in March 2024 with Chalmers at his home in Leeds.
Nicolle says: “I didn’t pick up on anything and Leah didn’t notice anything else after that incident.
“Mum always spoke so positively about George, and seemed in a good place.
“That weekend I spoke to Mam on the Saturday morning, and she seemed fine. We just chatted about my son’s birthday, and what he’d bought with the birthday money she’d given him and we discussed meeting up when she got back.”
I broke down. I was in shock. I think part of me couldn’t believe it and I hoped it wasn’t her but part of me also knew mam was dead.
Nicolle Baker
Later that night however, the police arrived at Nicolle’s door with some devastating news.
Nicolle says: “I was running a bath when the police arrived and asked to come in. For some reason I knew it would be about my mam.
“They asked to sit down and that’s when I began to really worry.
“They told me they found a body that was believed to be Ruth Baker and a man had been arrested, who I assumed would be George as I knew they were together.
“I broke down. I was in shock. I think part of me couldn’t believe it and I hoped it wasn’t her but part of me also knew mam was dead.
“My first thought was where was Leah so my partner went to go and pick her up, and when she got her she told us all about the previous attack. I felt wanted to protect Leah and comfort her.
“I felt so angry with Chalmers, forcing Mam and Leah to keep quiet.”
Chalmers had called officers to his house on Saturday March 30 and told them he had strangled Ruth following an argument.
Despite receiving medical attention, Ruth was sadly pronounced dead at the scene.
A post mortem examination later found she’d died of compression of the neck.
The following day, Easter Sunday, police told Nicolle there was evidence Ruth had been beaten up and Chalmers was charged with murder.
Nicolle says: “Telling my oldest son was the hardest part.
“I don’t think I felt anything for a while. I just felt numb and physically cold all the time, and there were days I just didn’t want to get up – but we’ve all helped each other through it as a family.
“The days and weeks just felt like such a blur, and I just tried to stick to my normal routine for the sake of Leah and the kids.
In a message sent after the November assault, Ruth said: “You can’t let that happen again. Next time you could kill someone.”
Nicolle says: “When we saw her text messages it was clear he was manipulating her, appealing to her softer side.
“You wrack your brains going over everything trying to work out if there were signs I could have picked up on, but there really wasn’t any indication anything was amiss.”
A month later Ruth was cremated and the family had a service at the crematorium chapel, and played Kate Bush song This Woman’s Work and Oasis’ Wonderwall.
Women's Aid has this advice for victims and their families
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – messageinfo@supportline.org.uk.
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
Seven months after her death, in October Chalmers, 54, was sentenced to life imprisonment after pleading guilty to the murder and jailed for a minimum term of 17 years and six months at Leeds Crown Court.
The court heard how he had violently and viciously attacked Ruth and strangled her with a TV cord after a night of drinking.
Nicolle says: “I went almost every day to the trial, and had hoped to face Chalmers in court but he only appeared via video link, which I initially felt angry about.
“He started crying at one point, and that again made me feel so angry.”
The court heard Chalmers has a long record of offences against women.
Nicolle says: “There’s no point dwelling on what-ifs, but it is frustrating to think that this could have all been prevented.”
The court was told Ruth had sent him videos and images of her body and said her daughter had seen but said: “I told her I fell down the stairs.
“Don’t worry I won’t report you, but you can’t let this happen again to anyone else you meet.”
In another message, Ruth said: “You punched me in the face and head.”
She said she had “two black eyes.”
In another text she said: “I don’t understand what would make you want to kill me…I thought I was going to die when you strangled me.”
Chalmers said he “wished he could turn back the clock” and said: “I know you’re p**** off but not as p**** off as I am for doing that to you.” He also said: “I will never forget what I have done to you. I’m a b****** I know and all you tried to do was try and help me.”
Nicolle adds: “The sentence was actually more than we thought he would get. He’ll be 71 before he can even think about applying for parole, which feels like a weight has been lifted.”
Now, Ruth’s family are gradually trying to rebuild their lives without her – but she will always be sorely missed.
Nicolle says: “She’s missed Leah’s 18th, and my sons starting new schools, and this year will be the first Christmas without her.
“It’s hard knowing I can’t just pick up the phone and chat to her.
“We only hope other families can learn from our tragedy.
“Please walk away from a violent partner because nothing is harder than leaving your family with this heartbreak.”
