GET ready to spice up your countdown to Christmas day with a sexy twist.
Forget the traditional chocolate-filled advent calendars – this year, it’s time to unwrap a little more fun each day.
Sexy toy advent calendars are here to add a dash of excitement, intrigue, and maybe even a little bit of naughty mischief to your festive season.
Behind each door, you’ll discover tantalizing surprises designed to spark intimacy, playfulness, and passion.
And television sexpert Alix Fox has put them to the test and given her honest review on what the top ones are for this year.
Whether you’re flying solo or sharing the experience with a partner, these advent calendars bring a whole new level of thrill to the holiday cheer.
Here, Alix Fox reveals to Yasmin Harisha the best sex toy advent calendars that’ll truly make you go ho ho ohhhh as you countdown down to Christmas.
SheSpot really hit the spot with this calendar: it feels very luxurious, with a dozen high-end goodies to get down ‘n’ dirty with.
Some of the posh products inside are from deluxe brands you’ve probably heard of, like Agent Provocateur: you can pick from two sizes of saucy ribbon-tied knickers, or a pair of glossy black nipple covers, aka “pasties”, pronounced PAY-sties.
There’s a rust-red liquid lippy by LELO with impressive staying power, and they have a glass bottle of Uberlube which may be less familiar to you, but it’s one of my faves – It’s a super-long-lasting silicone-based lubricant.
It might seem a reach to describe something that goes in your rear end as “stunning”, but the Biird plug is so pretty – it’s made of blue glass with an oil-on-water finish.
Try immersing it in warm or cold water before use to switch up the temperature.
The pebble-shaped Je Joue rechargeable clitoral vibrator is versatile too: use it flat for broad stimulation, or aim the end for pinpoint pleasure.
If I had to criticise, I’d say the frangipani massage candle looks V.I.P., but smells a tad like air freshener for the W.C.
There are also two tingling products, which are like Marmite: you either love them or feel like you’re suffering an allergy attack in your private parts.
But overall, this is a proper Christmas cracker.
Satisfyer are known in the buisness for two things: making affordable yet high quality ‘dupes’ of much more expensive branded toys, and inventing their own groundbreakingly imaginative gadgets, often in cute designs like pandas and penguins.
They’ve won over 500 design awards, so I had high hopes for this 24-piece calendar – but what’s inside the Satisfyer Santa sack this year is rather a mixed bag.
The best bits? An adorable seal-shaped rechargeable air pulse clitoral toy gets my – ahem – seal of approval, plus there’s an egg-shaped penis stimulator.
It’s a hollow oval made of stretchy silicone: to use it, drip a little lube inside; place over his manhood; and off you go.
Every gift came sealed in a plastic bag that reminded me of the ‘Lucky Dips’ you get at car boot sales
Alix Fox
A fair few products feel more like “cheap filler” than “classy thriller”, though.
There’s a vibrator made of hard, transparent pink plastic with scratchy seams, that feels like it might crack before you get cracking.
And the bottle of ‘Anal Relax’ gel is a big no-no for me because it contains benzocaine: this is a local anaesthetic intended to make anal play feel more comfortable, but it can be dangerous because its painkilling properties mean you may not realise if you’re doing your body damage.
There’s plenty here to please and tease, but Satisfyer didn’t quite leave me satisfied.
Bondara’s 24-piece set will best suit couples who like to have a giggle while they wriggle between the sheets.
It’s full of Christmas-themed jokey items: a vibrator with ‘Touch your Elf’ written on it; a bullet vibe with reindeer antlers; and a pine tree-shaped butt plug that made me grin but also made me wonder whether it’d make you wince on the way out.
There’s also a gorgeous marble-effect rechargeable vibrator.
I’m afraid there are some Xmas turkeys in this collection, though.
It’s dinky but powerful; comes with a cover; and locks so it doesn’t set off in your suitcase
Alix Fox
Several horribly old-fashioned, big pink penis-shaped toys actually made me cringe as I unwrapped them: they look like gag gifts you’d buy on Blackpool Pier.
There are a lot of items made of cheap ‘jelly’, and the shiny jiggle ‘baubles’ made me gasp with horror as they’re on a fabric string.
This can attract a lot of bacteria which isn’t nice.
To top it all off, every gift came sealed in a plastic bag that reminded me of the ‘Lucky Dips’ you get at car boot sales.
I don’t mean to be rude-dolph, but this is one of the most ‘budget’-feeling boxes of the lot.”
Smile Makers are famous for making simple, sleek, mainly female-focused toys in sweet sugary shades that are straightforward to use yet have a designer feel.
This set brings together seven of their rechargeable bestsellers.
My favourites are The Tennis Pro – a sunny yellow toy with a ball-shaped tip that targets the G-spot – and The Firefighter, which has a flat, flame-shaped end that flickers against your hot spots.
While each toy does have its own merits, several of them are similar, so you might find that it’s overkill or even a bit boring to have seven all to yourself.
Every one is individually wrapped, so you could split them between your girlfriends as gifts if you’re the kind of gal pals who don’t shy away from a cheeky package.
There are two really top-drawer items in this 24-drawer box.
The first is a Womanizer Liberty 2 air pulse clitoral stimulator.
Their Liberty 2 model is terrific for travelling: it’s dinky but powerful; comes with a cover; and locks so it doesn’t set off in your suitcase.
The second big kahuna in this calendar is the We-Vibe Sync Lite: a horseshoe-shaped vibrator that women wear by inserting one ‘arm’ inside the vagina, while the other nestles against the clitoris.
If you’re new to them, see how each part feels on its own before turning everything on at once
Alix Fox
It can be used during intercourse, or controlled from anywhere in the world using a mobile phone app – so again, it’s great for travelling, and offers an exciting way to share intimacy even if you and your lover have to spend time apart this Christmas.
Given that these two top-tier toys are worth around £160 alone, Lovehoney could have bulked the out the rest of this calendar with a snowstorm of tat. I’m glad to say they haven’t.
I particularly like the under-mattress restraint kit: a boon for kinksters whose bed doesn’t have a headboard they can attach handcuffs to.
The star item in this set looks like the Starship Enterprise – but according to the 474 five-star reviews on Lovehoney’s website, the Indulge Air Pulse Clit and G Stimulator will make you melt like a snowman in the Sahara.
Dual stimulation toys like this – which vibrate internally and suck externally – can take a bit of getting used to.
If you’re new to them, see how each part feels on its own before turning everything on at once.
Many of the other treats match those in the ’24 Days of Discovery’ calendar, including a rechargeable bullet vibe with a variety of attachments.
The idea of a single vibrator you can pop different ‘caps’ on to turn it into a G-spot toy or a buzzing probe seems neat.
But people who need intense stimulation might find that as the rumbles spread along the attachments – especially the bigger ones – they become too weak to have much effect.
I’d be a Scrooge not to give this calendar a high score, though.
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