It’s that special time of year when travel is a nightmare and there’s nothing to do in your hometown except take advantage of your parents’ streaming subscriptions. Whether you’ve grown tired of repeatedly watching the safest, most agreed-upon movie and are looking to ditch your family for a private screening, or you’re on your own and looking for a spicy, sexy movie that still scratches that holiday itch, we’ve got you covered. The 15 films below vary vastly in quality, age, and overall vibe — but all of them are certified NSFFMN (not safe for family movie night). Turns out Christmas can, in fact, be horny. Enjoy!
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
Nicole Kidman’s original horny Christmas movie needs no introduction; there’s nothing like sex cults and infidelity to get us all into the holiday spirit.
Babygirl (2024)
If there’s one thing Nicole Kidman is gonna do, it’s make an age-gap romance — and this one also happens to take place during Christmas. She’s the powerful CEO who just wants to be bossed around. He (Harris Dickinson) is the confident, reckless young intern who knows exactly what she needs. There is a scene that involves squirting. Make sure you’re as far from any relatives as humanly possible when you watch this, I’m serious.
Bad Santa (2003)
Imagine if Santa Claus was a deadbeat alcoholic who fucked. Actually, you don’t have to; just watch this movie.
Reindeer Games (2000)
The plot is convoluted and stressful, but the sex scenes are gratuitous and plentiful.
Carol (2015)
Carol isn’t the coziest, but it is replete with the strained yearning of forbidden love. It’s as much the emotional complexity of this iconic lesbian romance as the palpable chemistry between Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett that makes it an incredibly sexy film.
Hot Frosty (2024)
This Netflix original is easily the most family-friendly film on the list, and yet the fact remains that this is, simply put, a horny retelling of Frosty the Snowman starring Lacey Chabert, Mean Girls alum and holiday rom-com superstar, and an often-shirtless Dustin Milligan, the hot veterinarian from Schitt’s Creek. This was the work of some truly great minds, and we simply must acknowledge that.
The Merry Gentlemen (2024)
This, too, is a fairly predictable, fairly vanilla Netflix holiday rom-com. But, crucially, Chad Michael Murray spends the majority of the movie shirtless. It’s a classic big-city girl meets small-town boy situation, except instead of a bakery, our protagonist, Ashley (Britt Robertson), decides to raise money by putting on all-male strip shows.
The Apartment (1960)
Spending the holidays alone? Turn off It’s a Wonderful Life immediately and watch a classic movie that actually understands what you’re going through. It’s depressing as hell; it’s also as sexy as a movie made in 1960 could be!
101 Reykjavik (2000)
Iceland may be known for chunky sweaters and gorgeous landscapes (two major Christmas staples), but this Icelandic film isn’t the kind of movie you’d gather around the fireplace to watch. In it, a guy who lives with his mom and spends most of his time watching porn is introduced to said mother’s hot dance instructor. He and the instructor have sex, only to learn that the mother is also in love with her dance instructor. Christmas chaos!
Cold Steel (1987)
Plot-wise, the kindest thing one can say about this movie is that it is a masterclass in ’80s excess: Guns! Cars! Psycho killers! A sexy and mysterious woman! It has all the classic thriller elements, plus Christmas.
The Ice Harvest (2005)
Billy Bob Thornton and John Cusack star in this convoluted but funny mob-thriller comedy. I’ll let you guess which one of them gets it on with the requisite sexy, mysterious woman (played by Connie Nielsen).
Hardcore (1979)
A deeply conservative concerned father finds out his daughter has run away to become a porn actress; the only way to find her, apparently, is to pose as a porn producer himself. Hijinks (and lots of implied nudity) ensue.
Venus Beauty Institute (1999)
Of course this French Christmas movie is too sexy to watch with your parents.
Nymphomaniac: Vol. II (2013)
Yes, this Lars von Trier joint is also a Christmas movie.
Silent Night (1995)
A love triangle, on Christmas Eve!
Related
