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If a hiring manager is excessively complimenting you and telling you you're the top candidate during an interview, you may be being "love-bombed."
The term originated as a way to describe the manipulative tactics some toxic people employ in romantic relationships to hook in their victims, showering them with affection, gifts, and promises for the future, only to later flip the script and show their real selves.
But the same pattern may apply to the workplace, too. Many job seekers complain of inconsistent behavior from hiring managers, CNBC reported, being flattered and praised one minute and ghosted the next.
"Love-bombing during job interviews happens all too often when recruiters or hiring managers want to keep you interested in them while they figure things out behind the scenes," Renee Barber, the global director of recruiting for TYR Talent Solutions who has over 20 years of experience in the recruitment industry, told Business Insider.
"They may overhype your chances to keep you interested," Barber said. "Especially if they're not ready to make a decision or they need to buy time without being direct about the actual situation."
Janine Chidlow, the managing director of EMEA at the global talent firm Wilson, told BI that love-bombing not only disrupts a candidate's career expectations "but also raises questions about organizational integrity and employer branding."
"This phenomenon isn't new," she said. "But its frequency and impact have surged."
It's looking like the job market may see a boost next year. But white-collar hiring is still in a slump, with tech jobs being hit the hardest.
Love-bombing may serve as a "morale-booster" for both candidates and interviewers, Chidlow said.
Amanda Fischer, an executive leadership and career coach who is the founder of AMF Coaching & Consulting, said that some recruiters and hiring managers want everyone they are interviewing to feel optimistic about the role so they don't lose out on the best candidates.
They may also want to create a strong connection so the candidate to make them less likely to negotiate further.
"In this particular instance, that is a highly manipulative move," Fischer said.
It may not always be a scheme, though, and some recruiters and hiring managers may be love-bombing without realizing it.
"They could genuinely be excited about a candidate and might not see how the excessive compliments could backfire," Barber said.
There are plenty of ways to recognize love-bombing during the interview stages.
According to Barber, some signs are excessive compliments, like being told you're exactly what the company is looking for, or that you're the best candidate being interviewed, or being given unrealistic promises, such as if they talk about you "being a great fit for the team" or "starting soon" before they've actually made a decision.
Fischer told BI that pressure for a quick decision is also "a huge red flag."
"From my perspective, there are very few circumstances where you should accept a role the moment it's offered," Fischer said.
Barber agreed, adding that if there is a long delay or no communication after the interview, "it's a sign that the praise might have just been a way to keep you interested before they made their decision."
Love-bombing during the interview process is symptomatic of deeper issues in recruitment, Chidlow said.
"While it may yield short-term gains in market perception, the long-term costs — disillusioned candidates, damaged reputations, and high turnover — far outweigh the benefits," she said.
"By prioritizing transparency and respect, organizations can foster genuine connections with candidates, ensuring a healthier, more productive recruitment process."
If you think the person on the other end of the interview desk is love-bombing you, it's good to set expectations early, Barber said.
"Before you wrap up the interview, feel free to ask when you can expect to hear back and what the next steps are," she said. "This can help you keep track of the process and avoid getting strung along."
Barber also recommended following up after the interview, sending a thank-you email, and asking for feedback.
"This allows you to gauge whether the praise was sincere and whether the company is genuinely interested," she said.
"If something feels off, trust your instincts," Barber added. "If it all felt too polished or disconnected from your experience, be cautious."
Keeping your options open is also a good move because being in a stronger position yourself makes you less likely to fall for manipulative tricks.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket," Barber said. "Otherwise, you could be waiting around for a response that might never come."
